Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Black Fat Film Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor Sean Paul LLC. Hey, everybody, welcome to another
episode of the Blackfat FM podcast. We're all the intersections
of identity a celebrated. I'm one of your hosts, John
also known as Doc DoD John Paul. And while you
were trying to figure out if Annabelle yes that uh

(00:25):
the scary doll, the dollar and the raggedy and doll,
if she was really the reason behind that plantation burning down?
And also people are saying that she is the reason
that those eleven men escaped a prison. Was it twelve
twelve eleven men who escaped that prison. I'm just happy

(00:47):
that they free and I'm happy that that plantation is gone.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Can I get amen? Well? Actually, I think so, let's
let's talk about it.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Talk about I think only three of them are free,
the other the other what nine got caught?

Speaker 3 (01:02):
So no, so as of today, seven have been to say,
six have been caught, five or sols out there. One
was on her charge, so I may not say, I
may not say for that person that, but the rest
of them we're on petty theft.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
And I too am like listen, so petty theft and
one for murder.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yes, from from what I heard, So let me okay, So,
y'all FAM's shoreing, ak y'all queens.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Now, I gotta tell you.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Being in New Orleans as NBL was, there was a
trip okay with the eleven inmates that were there. Now,
my my, my, my lift driver. I'm gonna call her Mimi,
my lift driver. She knew way too much. She was like,
as soon as I got in that lift, she was like,
it was my first, my first eight hour there.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
She was like, she was like, oh my god, are busy.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Shoot, so I don't be care from the streets because
there are some folks who escape from prison, who escaped
from jail.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
She knew everyone's charge. She knew how long they were
there for.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
How much longer, how much more time they'll get if
they if they get caught, where are they where the
where they'll be shipped off to? She where each the
woman was found. She was out here being my, my,
my little true crime queen. She was like, so, so
one dude, apparently one dude he was, He was like
he was he got caught the strip club. He was

(02:24):
the strip club, which I mean broke I can't like
I can't.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
I can't. I too, let me the strip club. She
just like be being in jail. The first place I'm
going is a Krispy Kreme. Fine, my comfort. I get
that one dud would want to see his homie.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
His homie started posting, and I was like, oh, my god,
like like my dad comes around.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yes, she was like she was like, she was.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Like he was so dumb to trust the homie. That's
not homie, that's not op. Why what because why was
your friend? If your friend knows you're you escape, why
would he film you? And I was like, girl, that's
the right question, says made me ask right questions.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
And the next.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Person was someone who was like just doing a stroll
stroll through the French Quarter, and she told me the
French Quarter has some of the best facial rekinditions in
the country, and so they just dude off a tattoo
on his arm, not from his face, a tattoo off
his arm. I said, oh, she knew everything, and then

(03:25):
she was honestly, I think it was an inside job
because how did they do That's what?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
And I saw what if you saw Dominique's so shout
out to Dominique Morgan Frand to the show. She did
a full breakdown of why she believes that what happened
there was like more of a she's because she was explaining,
like basically she was saying as a person who has
one escaped from jail, because she said, during her time,
I don't know, she's been very public about being incarcerated,

(03:52):
so I want to make sure that I'm being very
upfront about that that if you have not listened to
Dominique's episode, or if you have not followed Dominique, she everything,
all of her critiques about the incarceration system are just
in general, just fantastic, just just in general from that,
but as somebody, she was explaining in her video that
as somebody who was incarcerated, there were all of these

(04:14):
factors of why there's no way they could have escaped
that venue and how it had to have been like
somebody from the kitchen left the back door open for
all of those people to get away, or was the
they were moving, you know, they moved or they are
they they travel with them in some capacities and someone

(04:35):
lost control and they got away from that, Like she
was saying, there's no specific way that the way that
it was framed on television could be possibly real. Literally
like I think I'm with you, I'm with you when
you're ride.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
I was like listen, like and and and me me
the whole thing. And part me was like, Mimi, did
you help them? Girl? Like she knew a bit too
mess where I was. Yes, I was like, she knows literal,
she lets on. So I was kind of like mmm,
and then all I was also I was I was
this little uh cornerstone and this dude was like this

(05:12):
dude was telling the group the group about it, and
then he was like, because they're giving ten k a
ten k reward if you if you find them, right,
and he was like, for all of them are per
I don't. I think it's maybe all of my mom's
are not sure. But I was like, but he was like,
if you report them, if report them, use my name

(05:34):
because because if you report them and they know it's you,
like they'll come find you and kill you. And part
of me was like, okay, but you live here, so
they will kill you. In fact, I'll be okay because
I get I get to fly out.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Here, they ain't gonna find me. But so I also
was like it sounds.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Like you may be in on it too, but you
it sounds like you maybe want to cut other deal.
So because because I can, because I'm I'm sure, I'm like,
you won't get God for some reason even though you
live here.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Also, ten k is not that much.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
Lovingly, if if I'm playing a dude on a murder charge,
I need money for protection. Anybody five million, please thank
you a million, because I need to be able to
get up out this country and started more empty.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
I'm saying, right, I'm yeah, I'm going to I'm going
to live in somebody's treating bob screaming. Except yes, I know.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
That money will last minute. No, like I said, you win,
you right, thank you?

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Thank you with me girl.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Okay anyways, y' also, we we gotta keep a pushing,
we gotta kill do we go on our favorite girl,
Masiusha Campbell on our Steel Hair segment.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
And this week I want to kick by talking about TikTok.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
I saw where a young woman woman was eating lunch
in her kitchen and she started crying because she noted
that she was not only safe, but the moment that
she had always prayed for not gonna be thinking like
as you look around to the world, fire girl, this
is on fire girl, what has been your answer?

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Prayer? What's the thing? You look around and go, damn,
I really did that for me. You know, I can't
have that.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
As I pulled into New York for folks wh don't
know I am in New York right now. I am
here for next week, which I'm excited for. So I
think you might get to like a two of us
on me while I'm here ny C. And you know,
you know, And that's more where I was like, I
wouldn't say felt safe because local girl, we we almost.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Broke a tire of that landing, that ship crack. We
hit the ground. We I said, what the fuck? God damn, yeah, god, damn.
I'm looking next to me. I said around like you
do y'all feel we really hit the ground, I said, girl.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
For a moment from the I legit lived off my
seat for a moment, I was like, I was like, damn,
like I'm really going to die on the landing.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
We we flew safely.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
I got the landing, but I got I got here safely,
but you know where I was like, Wow, I'm able
to travel sometimes just on like just on, like a
little whim right, and like my question is it The
question is not what can I afford to do? It's
just like like what will I do while I'm here?
Like so I just learning never really gave gratudely to travel.
We just know that I'm able to do mostly mostly

(08:16):
whatever I want, right, like like if I don't love
where I'm staying, I can't find another place and pay
for it. I may not like having to pay for
it because dead, but like but I can, and that
to me is like I really did that, Like I
really have worked hard to a place where I can
afford to do the things that I need and want
right Like I was telling some of the day, I'm
I feel secure and so many things because because I

(08:38):
like because like I know I can do it, and
like the like there asked questions like do I know
how to ask for help? I'm like yes and no,
like I don't always ask for help because when.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
I don't know if I can trust anyone can help me.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
But I also I also know that like I can
do it myself, like like I don't need a lot
of things, so I know I can do it for myself.
And also like yes, yes, ask for help bla blah blah,
and I'm working on working on that. Let's get to
know that the things that I want and need I
can give to me.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, you're taken care of. I think that's what I was.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
So I've I too, have seen that TikTok, and I
don't I wish I knew the creator's name so we
could shout her out. I'm probably gonna I'll do some
digging and I'll put it in the I'll put it
in the show notes just for folks who may want
to see it. But I think about that's literally what
I feel or what I got from that video of
like I I like, I have what I need. And

(09:30):
I think sometimes we get so caught up, I think,
in life, and that's kind of what I'm having to
like check myself on a lot. There's so much more
out of my career I want. There's so much more
out of my life that I want. There's all of
these things that I like, I want, But sometimes I
don't think we stop to really just kind of look
around and be like, damn, I really have everything that
I need right now, and I've worked up to this
point and it feels good, and I think that's where

(09:52):
this question came from, right, Like, you know I really
did that, I really created or I fostered a life
that I have everything that I need.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
And I feel the same way.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
I know that this kind of semi superficial, right, But
I've talked about it in so many different different ways,
and I've never, like head on, talked about being houseless.
And I think folks know part of my story. I
talk about it, like I said in my book, I've
talked about it around me, and that for me is
when I saw that TikTok, I immediately like I was

(10:23):
sitting in my living room and the thought for me
like looking around and being like, damn, Like I have
an office, like I have a home, Like I have
a garage, Like I drive a nice car into that
garage every single day, a nice car that I can afford.
It's not like I'm living beyond my means, Like I
literally can afford everything that I have in my life
right now, and at one point in my life, I

(10:46):
didn't think that that was ever possible. And so like
while we've also talked very much about the astronomical pricing
of living in California in general, I think for me right.
I sometimes will leave and I hear people talk talking
about their life in California, and I'm like, that's not
my life, and it's not to not to shit almost
people who have struggles, because I want to make it

(11:08):
very clear that it ain't all roses over here either, right,
Like we I think me and Jojo we I mean
we texted, we talked almost daily at this point about
just what our life is, what we're dealing with. But
I think for me, it's really sometimes just sitting in
gratitude and being like, damn, like I'm not living out
of my car anymore. Damn you know, I'm not robbing
Peter to pay Paul to pay that bill. Like you know,

(11:30):
I just this week was able to pay off a
credit card that I genuinely in my life would have
been really stressed out about because of the balance, right, Like,
those are all things that I think that I've I know,
I've worked for, but at the same time, or things
that I've prayed for. And sometimes I just sit back
and I'm like I look at that and I just go, damn,
like I really did that, you know, I really did.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
I think like like like you and not you, and
I are financial independent, Like not just in the sense
of being like it was afford like we want to
afford in most cases, but also like independent the sense
of like we know that likely like if something happens
like our parents, right, we're not getting anything from them,
like right, like like like we know there is no

(12:11):
inheritance or anything for us, like we like and and
and and sometimes we're even helping financially those people people
around us too, and like that is like a is
a huge gift and privilege aple to do that.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Like there are times where I'm like.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
Like I know most likely, like when my mom passes,
there will there will not be much, if anything at
all to like to leave me like I So it's
like my independence is not just so I'm independent, it's
so like I'm set up for my future and and
I know for you the same like you, like you
are setting out yourself up for your future and whoever's

(12:45):
whatever comes after.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
You too, Like and that is not fucking easy. That
is that is work.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
I was having a conversation about like I was having
conversation about about uh salaries with with with some friends
of the day and like you know, like like like
like they're salaries is much muchhigher than mine. And they're
you know, they're like they're like, okay, you're in Like
they're like they're.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
But but you're telling your ages really good.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
I'm like, yeah, it is really good for sure, but like,
but like you all like you have something, you have help,
Like you have help, you have to income households, like
you have a partner, you have you have two parents, right,
like you have things that when if that, like you
have support and something happens, I don't if ship goes
down for me, like maybe my.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Mom still here.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
I can live in her house, sure, Like I can
limb her house, sure, but like but like she can't
financially support me she can, Like that's just stres. So
I just I'm grateful that we are able to do
what we do and we work hard as fuck for it.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
It's not easy for people, and.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
It's not And there's a part of me that's looking
at our looking at the show flow today and I'm like,
this should have been a whole segment. But I was
gonna say, like a man talked about them so many
different ways, and if you mean you piece them to
get that we've talked about finances we've talked about life.
But I will say this, like to your point, I
also think, like I there there was a moment a
couple of months ago where I was really really like

(14:10):
really doting on myself about not being able to afford
a home. And you know the process of you know,
for many of you who listened to some of our
older episodes, you know, I went through the process last
year of trying to buy a home. And it wasn't
that it didn't work out. I just I genuinely was
in a place where I was like, I don't want
to be house poor. And you know, we talked about
that in that moment, and I will say it kind

(14:31):
of like looking back on that to your point of
what you just shared, it it even just in my mind,
I'm going the fact that I have worked to a
place where I could even entertain the thought of buying
a home. Yeah, Like like even though it didn't work
out because the universe was like not right now, there
was still there's still a part of me in my
life that's like.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Damn, I did that. You did, you know what I mean? Like,
and girl, context matters. It didn't work out in California, you.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
Could you could get at home, you can get a
big ass on and anywhere else, like it's crazy as hell, right, and.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
I stay, and I tell people I stay in California
specifically now, you know, the next four years, I'm.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Planning to be here.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
And I'm okay with here for the next four years,
you know, because everywhere else is a true ship show.
And it's not to say California is not a shit
show either, and we talked about that another episodes, Right,
it's not to say California is not, but I think,
you know, financially, and I think about just kind of
the safeties that I haven't just kind of knowing where
I live, I kind of want to stay here. But
I say, to your point, like that is a that

(15:36):
is a real That's something I didn't even think about. Like, girl,
you do know you can buy a home somewhere else,
you know, and just even be in that point, right
to even be in a place where I know, at
any given time, if I really, like, my credit is
good money, I have enough money in the bank to
start the process to buy something if I really need.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
To, or even you know, if if it were.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
The change in my life and I needed to, you know,
I needed to up and just go. That's the other
thing I think a lot about too, Like I have
the means to just be like, oh, it's time for
me to go.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Let's book these tickets and get a body here, you know.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
I I know a lot of people can't do that,
and so I just I'm really sitting as much as
there are a lot of things I could sit here
and complain about, and a lot of things that I know,
rightfully I could be upset about, and and and and
and and and and pissed off. You know, I think
pissed off is the right word. I also sit in
this notion of like, yo, you know, we definitely did

(16:30):
what needed to be done, and I'm really really happy
about that.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
So we did, okay, fam Well, we have taken a moment,
a big moment, just in some gratitude. We also recognize
in order to keep the ship should we have, we
gotta pay some bills as well too. Quick break, when
we get back, we'll jump this This was category is
more in a sidon.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
All right, y'all.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
So, as I say said in the last segment, I
do wish that we could have really expounded on that convo.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
And I think one day down the line, we will,
but we will. It's our show. We'll come back to it.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
We gonna come back to I think what we were
we were kind of touching on in the last segment
was I think this generational you know, the the need
for us to kind of you know, you.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Talk about what do they talk about?

Speaker 1 (17:21):
What are the girls the dollies talking about generational trauma
and how folks are ending it? And so we'll put
a pin in it, and we want listeners please hold
us accountable to that because we'll mention stuff on the
show and that we totally forget. Okay, So any if
you want to hear more about that, please make sure
that you you tap us and say, hey, John, don't
forget about that conversation. And I know one of our
listeners probably will, but I just wanted to make sure that.

(17:42):
But anyway, all that to be said, I have been
sitting with this conversation for a couple of months. So
as you all know, by the time you hear this,
it will be in a couple of days, it'll be
time for pride and everyone right, everyone will be pulling
out their rainbow flags. Some of us already have long
beach pride already happens. I know a couple of other
cities and states that are local to us, I think,

(18:03):
like Nevada and a few other ones, they're getting ready
to gear for Pride. And one of the things that
I had been sitting with was we had had a conversation.
I don't even remember the context of the conversation, but
we started talking about identity, and one of the things
that had come up to for me and that conversation was,
you know, I got tripped up on what the conversation
specifically because we were talking about fem non binary, gender

(18:26):
expansive and gender fluid and gender not conforming. And I
think the bigger question that I left with in that
conversation was what is the difference between all of those things?
And I know if me, as someone who's like doing
the work, is a little bit like, what the fuck
does this mean? I can only imagine what a listener
who's like kind of fresh into this is dealing with

(18:49):
is thinking about the identities and so kind of to
celebrate pride and to celebrate this idea of us needing
to all kind of educate ourselves and constantly be learning, right,
I thought we would just generally jump into a conversation
about it and really just kind of like talk about
I not even just the definitions of these things, but
I think this idea of kind of to that intersectional part, right,

(19:13):
like how does our intersections kind of nudge and define
each of the ways that we show up and things?
And so yeah, I kind of wanted to just start
with that and really just kind of kind of lead
a conversation around this idea of like why each of
these identities are so important to people and how we
can honor them, especially those who are dancing at the

(19:33):
intersections of.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
You know, I actually I really like this because I
think it's not only important but timely because all the
ways media is getting is trying to get them wrong
or complete the idea that folks don't know themselves, or
about the gay right, or about who we are as people.
I mean, obviously, listeners, we want to get clear that
this is just our take on it. And if listens

(19:58):
want to connect, correct, test or even challenge us, that's great,
Like I let like please keep us to ask, y'all.
I think the thing people missing talking about this is
that also each of these terms have distinct meanings, right, Like,
let's get into a little bit, right, It's like aka
fam fam is something that was off that is often
used in lesbian community describes a person who expresses their

(20:19):
identity in a more feminine way. But like, like, you know,
like like folks, folks like us, right, folks like U
John Ure who are who are not non binary. For me,
as a queer person, right have also taken on the
taken on the manker being famb and finding a lot.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
To me, it's I find a lot of like, I.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
Find a lot of like connection without any of feminists
being heated to my own femini as well too. I'm
curious about how about that for you?

Speaker 2 (20:45):
So yeah, And I think I get that.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
I get asked that quite a bit, Like one someone
would say, why why did we put that title into
the podcast when we were thinking of what this show
was going to be called, right and then obviously right
the offshoot of my book, Why would I put them
in the title? And I think that's you know, I understand,
like I want folks to be clear, I understand that
the lesbian community has taken that term and what it

(21:08):
means in that that community. But I think for me,
I think reclaiming fem. It was something I was called
my entire life was that I was feminine or that
you know you you know you're fem or even you
know on the apps right, like I talk about, I
talked in different circles when we were in you know,
when you go on the apps, you'll often see people
say no, fim right, And we know what FIM means.

(21:31):
And so I think for me to reclaim the F E,
M M E and in my identity, I think for
me it has a lot to do with this idea
of how long I hated it and how long I
I how much time I spent trying to run away
from it, and then once I was able to truly
figure out myself and understand why I hated that term,
being able to kind of take it back and say, oh,

(21:53):
you know, I treat I present as non binary fem.
It's also the same way, like you know, I've had
friends and you know, and I I truly don't love
this word, but I understand it. Right A friend who
identify as fag right and they say, oh, I'm a faggot,
and you're like, who that's rough? But I get it,
like I as much as I don't love that word,

(22:14):
and it kind of makes me cringe even just to
say it. I think for me, it's like when someone
tells me that that's a part of their identity. I
often go into this idea of like, oh, I get it.
I I what you've been through, and I understand why
that word means so much to you and why you
would use that as a part of your identity. So
that's kind of where I'm coming from with that.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Okay, Okay, Okay, So so many things in my mind's
sinking here, so I'm gonna say I'm saying Okay, So
I almost curious to like go more into non binary,
non binary because it also truts people up right, Like
for someone to see abella term for someone who's general
doesn't fit in the binary category of male or female. Okay,

(22:59):
this is my someting can mean that fil by gender,
gender fluid isn't a general conforming which are three different things.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
So you basically mean gender is the spectrum, that's what
you're saying.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Hash.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
The more you know, girl right, divertually, everybody's tender is
a spectrum.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
And so I don't feel well too because you being
gender fluid.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
I mean said someone that someone someone said, Daddy isn't
fixed and gingers are time paying or paying on the
on the situation right like for me, I may, I
may were heals my feel safe to wear them.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
You know I always I I always have my.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Nails done and I do that right, you know, the
like safe safe safety is important for.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
Me, you know, like being safe with my community, being
safe forever I go.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
I definitely always sometimes like if I'm wearing nails where
people like try and cut me for it, but usually
but like usually everyone's always like loving it. By I
think of that point, people also are like, oh Joe,
like you must be non binary.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Like everyone be asking me like what your pronounce? Sorry
do you say them now?

Speaker 3 (24:00):
I'm like, people want people want me to be people
want me to be empty so bad, and I like
love that for us.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Thank you so so much. I want you to join.
I want you to join. H I really want you to.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yes, come come through the NBCFI you know the the
NBC I live, you.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Know, Bary.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
I will say, I actually this past month, I actually
and I haven't like haven't talked talked about this ye
with anybody. I actually have been like I want to say,
trying on but like like considering doing like a he.
They because like I feel connected to like being he him,

(24:46):
but I do think I go, but I do think
I go beyond like I like, I think like like
I don't actually know if I like I feel like
non binary. I mean maybe, but I do sometimes think
about like I do some being like do like he
him They yeah, because because because like I think, like
I mean, first of all, like I like, I respond

(25:06):
to all pronouns like I really do. I also don't
feel like I don't feel for some people like gender
acknowledgment is life is like life saving your life and dangerous.
It's a big deal, right and like and like and
like for me, isn't like for me, Like, I really
don't feel I don't feel endangered if someone messes up

(25:29):
how they refer to me. But because I like, I
just feel I feel very clear rooted in myself that
I'm not those who is like life affirming your life
and that.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
Like that that they don't feel rooted in themselves.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
Like it's just like like that's just like that's just
not my hill that I want to like stand on
in some ways. But I really am like feeling like
I'm like like I'm I'm processing real time, but this
isn't even on showing, not all in real time, just
for processing. Like I really am feeling some type of

(26:01):
calling to begin using a they like pray on usage myself,
I think like maybe it's something maybe in some cases
like I am feeling pressured or coerced into doing it.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
But like I mean like like I think you're at
the age Georgan, I don't want to cut you off.
I don't think, yeah, I I don't want to cut
you off. I I what I feel though, And it's
kind of the same way like I'm getting ready to
turn forty, and I think that the getting ready to
turn forty means a lot of different things for me.
I think, you know, you're you're you just turn what
you're thirty one, I'll.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
Be girl, thirty, just thirty, just okay, thirty. I don't
know why I thought you were thirty one, but thirty.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, so you just turned thirty, and so I think
going into your thirties, it is you know, that's very
much where I got very comfortable with the non conformity
of myself.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
Yeah, And I.

Speaker 3 (26:50):
Think like I'm not a place where where I'm like
it's not that I don't love being ha hamm right,
Like it's not it's not that it's not it's not
that the it's not the like I don't I don't
love being a boy gender. But there are times where
I'm like, I actually am more than this, Like I
actually am more like like I am a boy who
rocks nails, and like that actually is inherently like non

(27:13):
binary fluid is a fluid. So like so you know
I am, I am a boy who does experiment in
like different gendered fashion.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
So yeah, so I do so I and you do
it good, honey.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
I will say that my friend dresses house down boots,
like there are some looks that you have that I'm like,
oh shit, I'm gonna need that. I think you have
like a like it's like a yellowish suit. It's like
a mustard colored suit. Yes, ma'am, Yes, you put the
ship on what.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
I will say.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
So I as I'm listening to you, and again these
are not in our notes. Are this is like a
real you know, diva sister conversation. I think is I'm
listening to you. I also hear the other people who
kind of struggle with this idea of like being he him.
When you ask the question, what's more than he him?
I think it's it's really this conversation of gender truly

(28:09):
is a construct, and a lot of that construct is
gross and very isolating and very insular. And I think
that's the reason why I love this idea of Like,
so when someone asks me, like, how do I identify
when I say my pronouns, are they them? It's not
because I'm trying to make this this this this stamp
of like I need to be different and I need

(28:30):
to make sure that I stand out. No, it's a
thing of I don't feel like the he him is
enough to explain all that I'm own, comforts, all that
I've been through, all that I've all that I fought for.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
And I think that's what I hear you saying, is
that a lot of.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Unimited Yes, Like I hear this conversation around people being trans,
non binary, fam like, these are all identities that we've
had to fight for, and we've had to fight to
understand in a world that is ultimately trying to get
us to just quote unquote only male or female. And

(29:08):
it's like, na, bitch, Like I'm more than that. I'm
gonna always be more than that, because I am more
than that. And I think that's what makes this conversation
so beautiful is that even with these definitions, I think
even just this notion of you know, kind of going
back to my point, that is why I say I'm
gender expansive, gender fluid, non binary, et cetera, et cetera,

(29:29):
et cetera. It's because one, I feel like I've worked
hard to build the safety around that, and I've built
a safety net of people around me who expect that
I've only had issues with like very few people, and
a lot of them are like the older generations that
don't understand why someone want to be gender non conforming
that I've had to push back on. But for the

(29:49):
most part, people they then me all the time, and
I love, like I love hearing my friends intentionally either
one self correct or two correct other people about my pronouns.
My husband does it all the time, and for me,
that just tells me a lot about this idea of like,
you know, I've built a network of people around me
who are on net, I should say, of people around

(30:10):
me who genuinely get me and understand me. But I
also think that this conversation of like I said, being
gender expansive and gender fluid is so much bigger than
just these these definitions, and it really speaks to the
idea of, like we all have, especially queer people, I think,
and I use that as an umbrella term, we've all
had to fight to really understand who we are and

(30:31):
why our identity means so much to us. And so
when people do correct me about their pronouns, I respect
it because I get it.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
I it's not just the same that for me, you know, yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
You know, I think, like it's really important.

Speaker 3 (30:45):
I want a name for anyone who's listening who may
be struggling with like understanding the expansiveness of gender right
like the in this moment we're talking about like to
a point where let's let like you can't deny that's
a concept, like you can't deny that. Like many cultures,
especially digenous cultures, their view of gender has been very expansive.

(31:06):
The view of fashion with gender has always been very expansive.
That culture, cultures, gender gender, gender do not come until
like partic particular religions came and like colonized parts of
the world, and that's when enforced gender it's like we
all know the gender was constructed for us. That's and
that's and that's separate from what our assigned sex is, right,
our sex.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Being based off based off of our genitalia.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
And I and I hope that people understand that, Like
people who want to experiment gender or shift or shift
their gender or feel aligned with different gender like the
like isn't it isn't a betrayal to who they are
or who they've been. It's an alignment with who they
want to be. It's alignment with who we want to be,
right because like, at the end of the day, we

(31:48):
all like we all want autonomy of ourselves, and we're
all fighting for autonomy of ourselves, right, Like the overall
point of being of being gender not conforming, you know,
is that we to be autonomous of how they want
to show up in the world. And I know people
want to police that because I think it's more because
of that.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
They're scared to a vision of what where people can
be what they want to be. Right.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
People are scared of a visional world. People are to
a visional world where really like like where we don't
here to rules or durn't like like social laws, but
like like like like like we all we all know that,
like law is meant to have order, so it's meant
to have control and like and like like I am
all for order in some ways and in other ways

(32:33):
when I'm like, this actually does not need to be real,
like order is arbitrary. I do not need to have
order in terms of like who, what what what my
gender is. And then for the folks who are like, okay,
well how about people who are like trans and like
like and get sexual reassignment surgery, how amazing it is
that we have the technology and ability to shift to
like change our assigned sex. Right, and that's what assigned sex.

(32:55):
That means that you were assigned, which means that you
had no agency over that.

Speaker 2 (32:58):
That's right, and that's the fucking of all of this.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
So like the gift it is to say, I'm gonna
reassign myself and have some choose that for me, and
people who are against that, y'all be eating GMOs.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, taking GM
one you call the other that people here.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
Y'all y'all here, like, well, well that's not natural, Susan, please,
it's not natural for you to you're you are here
doing doing how many rounds of tanning solution? That's not
natural girl, that's our official sunlight. Look at you natural witch.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Like, look at you like you girl?

Speaker 3 (33:37):
Okay, raised in the sun? I raised like you need
to calm down, And so like I was, go ahead, I.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Was gonna say to that point. I didn't want to.
I didn't want to miss this nugget. I also want
to name that that's the white supremacy of it all
in these conversations, and so like if we so right.
I I came in with a very very kind of
tight small idea of like, this is just what it
means to be non binary, gender inclusive and blah blah
blah blah blah, but our gender expansive, etcetera, etcetera. But

(34:07):
as you zoom out, you start to understand that as
you look at the full picture of what's happening around
us right now with the government and the ways the
laws are trying to be taken back from trans people,
and how folks are not allowing people to want to
get what they need to make that it is all
about control, it is all about power. It's all about
this idea of it's not even I will say, I

(34:30):
want to how do I say this? I don't want
people coming from my neck. I'm gonna say what I
want to say.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
For me.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
It's not even about control anymore, per se. I think
are about autonomy. I think it has a lot to
do about this idea of people not being able to
deal with the idea that people have, like you said,
the right to do what they want to do with
their bodies. It's coming down, it's coming back to this

(34:58):
idea of feeling like white men are having a very
hard time with understanding the idea that we are so
much more than what they say we are. And I
think that's why we're seeing some of them react the
way that they're reacting in terms of like let's take
this law, let's do this. Let's because they're they're like, oh,
these people are out of control, and it's like, no,
we've we've evolved, we're evolving as people, and you can't

(35:21):
handle that, like your your brain doesn't let me stop,
because I'm.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Gonna we are so much more than our prescriptions. And
I mean that in terms of like social laws. I
mean that in terms of like our actual medications. Right,
We're so much more than what our prescriptions are, and
I and and and I like it's it's I think
it's now that they can't wrap their mind around it.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
I think it's that they just don't want to because they.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
Would prefer, you don't to have order in a place,
because they want to feel like they're in charge of
the order and like and so they would rather enforce
an order of non autonomy. But like but like like
but like but like like you can't control creatures like
we are meant to be. We're meant to be wild
and free like like like many other animals that we see,

(36:07):
like we're like we yearn for freedom. And you know,
I also want to be clear as well that like,
while generally gender expensiveness conversations are under the queer right
and queer, it is really is.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Just like different or you know, caintercultural.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
And I also want I won't be really clear and saying
that people who are gender not conforming does not mean
that they are like that they are like gay or
by or let's not right like people Also, like, I
think it's again people would rather choose semantics because it
makes sense to them to rationalize. But like I say
queer because I want to be expensive, right, Like I

(36:42):
say I'm queer because like maybe one day I will
fall in love with the woman. I don't foresee it happening,
but like maybe one day I will, right, but I'll
never say I'm straight. But like there are people who
are there are like there are men who are who.
There are men people who are sign not birth, who
located to being who are too loocated to being a
man and are age and our bigender agender and their
presentation like but like they steal very much love like

(37:04):
love people assigned female birth or people who don't by
women like and again like what a gift?

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Like what a gift?

Speaker 3 (37:11):
And I know that, Like it's so that we talked
a lot about talked a lot about on my trip
in New Orleans because it was with with my with
my with my work team, because you know, I ran
a place like there's so much history of slavery and
energy of slavery there and how like I mean again,
like it really is about control, like because like because

(37:31):
organized people who who aren't controlled or revolutionary and people
are scared of that revolution. People are scared of change,
and people would people will give their life to maintain
a world in which people don't get to excel or
ascend so that they can feel they can feel like

(37:52):
the highest ground. But like you can't. You can't descend me,
You can't descend my people. Like we're sending like like
like you're trying so hard, right, you're pretty much to
a pressure cooker. That pressure is cracking, bitch, and we
are creating signs like we are sending still shining brightly,

(38:13):
so like, yeah, pay the business that minds you, bitch,
because clearly what you're doing is not working for anybody,
not giving what it's supposed to, okay, and so like
so like your your experiment has failed. Your hypothesis is wrong,
baby girl, Okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yes, it's I'm so sorry. You're failing science like like
like the like the the you know, the the chemicals
you use aren't mixing. They're gonna give a little explosion.

Speaker 3 (38:41):
And guess woman that when that Supson happens, we're gonna
come out on top being a free, beautiful, amazing cells.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
So like, and that's the I think that's why all
the thoughts with the tape right now, that is the
tape abes like that is literally why I think so
many people are grouped and gags, and I think too,
I think a lot of them are mad. And so
it's just I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it move in
so many different ways, right. We're seeing it in education,
We're seeing it in health, We're seeing it in all
these different factions of these white men trying to do

(39:09):
their best to try to make sure that people don't
understand themselves. But I'm gonna always be this person. I'm
gonna say this, and I think that's the crux of
this conversation. The bigger part of this conversation is is
that people will always know themselves better than what you
could ever tell them. And that is the reason why
you need to respect what people are telling you about themselves.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
If a person says.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
I am a woman, they know they are a woman.
The same way if a person says I am hungry,
you could tell me day in and day I'll bit
you are not hungry, but I will know which.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
I know my body. I am hungry, bitch, I'm hungry
all the time. Shit, I am on medication at this moment.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
It's supposed to not make me as hungry, and I
still am hungry. Some cheetos last night before I went
to bed because I was hungry. But I sail on
that to say jokes aside, like, we gotta get away
from this place of telling people who they are and
and respecting the idea that people know themselves well enough
to say, this is me, this is who I am,

(40:17):
this is what I want you to do to me
and my body. You don't have that respect, right like,
you don't You don't get to tell people. I think
that's what I really want to say. You don't get
to tell people who they are.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
You just don't.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
And if you can't, if you can't deal with the
fact that there are people out there that know who
they are and like who they are or love who
they are, I E me, okay, eat it, tough, tough,
tits sorry about it. There's nothing there's there's no other
way around it. So I guess what this conversation really
boils down to is autonomy. People know themselves, they know

(40:53):
their identities, and when people tell you this pride season
and onward who they are, respect them. Okay, child. With
that being said, this was the perfect way to end
this segment. Let people be who they are, stay open
to learning about it if you want to engage in
this conversation. You know our email, send us, send us
an email, over and again, we can break things down.

(41:14):
We love listener letters, so we would love to engage
people about how they have found themselves or how they're
finding themselves. Like you said, Joh, you're going through that
process now. I love it. I think this is the
perfect time because who knows how much longer we gonna
be here, Chad. We are going to take a quick
break and when we get back, we are going to

(41:35):
talk more about what's on our play back.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
And say and we're back, fam.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
So if you haven't a day with a listener, you
shouldn't know how hard be right for Tacobella around these parts.
But we have not dedicated sent them to the love,
to this love and so we thought today so they
feel so heavy, we're not take time in this episode
to uplift our love for the Gordy to supreme a
fast food.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen. I want I want to note
that this is not an ad. Taco Bell did not
pay us, but if they want to, they came. We
would love for you to sponsor the show. But when
you brought this up the other day, we were texting
about this. Yes, we just put yes with big capital yes, man,
I said, I appreciate that you're here for it. So

(42:27):
I wanted to ask you in our What's on What's
on your Plate segment?

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Where did your love for Taco Bell begin? Picture this there?
I was barbicue, sauce ties, Milda.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
Growing up all the fast, few places nearby tacobot what
was the closest place.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
And I don't know something about it just felt.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
Different, like like it was funk right, like like Nania
talk about, was funky colors, symbols, And that's why I
love it.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
Right, it's not concerned with the other girls.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
It has no traffic to say, it's it's lain all
the time, okay. And they changed their stuff to see
works and what does not? They said we were prototype
and sea Works does not. And they will and they
they won't give up. They will say no, you don't like,
get fine, will give me instead, And they always serve.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
It's always delicious.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
They have the most expansive menu because because also they
can make mostly anything vegetarian friendly.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
I'm sorry, but can we got to that? Can can
when you just do that? Can do that?

Speaker 3 (43:35):
I don't think so your faves could never and like
Taco could, the Taco could.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
Taco could, but the Taco is just not got girl
to me. But she's not. I mean she she needs right,
she gives what she needs to.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
But Taco Bell is like, but Taco Bell is the
one that's like, I'm a bad bitch on my own now,
nobody to prove it right.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
They're just finally who does not want to live moss.
People can talk about gross, they can call.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
It bad for your stomach, they can even call it
fake food, but they can't call it uninclusive or unoriginal.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
That part, that part, that part, that part that's real,
that is I'm I vibe with that and that fox
with that so hard.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
So I'm about to put you out on some games.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
So I went to Taco Bell the other day and
me and my partner were trying to figure out what
we're gonna order, and when we were when we were
at the drive through, the man was like, oh, you
have to go on the app to order that specific
thing because certain specials that they have are only app
like most places. Now, that was actually gonna be part
of my nomn PAM, but I just like, yeah, I hear,

(44:38):
you're here.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
You have it anyways, give me the thing.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
Right. I'm at the fucking drive through, girl, I did you?

Speaker 2 (44:45):
I came here like when they asked like, oh, like,
are you picking an app or no?

Speaker 3 (44:51):
Bit you want not fresh? No I can't. I can't
live moss if I can't show up.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
No I don't. I don't want to. I do not
want to engage in your app. But the guy was like, yo,
you can only get that meal on your app, and
I was like, damn it. So I went inside and
as I was there, the lady pulled me to the side.
She said something that they don't tell many people they
have not been advertising, is that they have happy Hour

(45:18):
every Tuesday from two pm to three pm, where a
lot of the stuff on their menu drops to be
like a dollar And I guess they're not promoting it,
but they are like it's there. So I wanted to
make sure that I put our listeners on. But I
will say this, I should just something about taco. What
have won me over is that I have never gotten

(45:39):
a stale taco shell from them. Ever, the hard shell
tackles are never staled, and there's just something about the
chemistry of that mystery meat and that sour kream that
just does it for me. And I'll say this, like
I do not know what is in that meat, but
by god, I just love the consistence. It's just tasty.

(46:01):
It's like the person said to me, of sweet, but
also a little bit. There's like there's a hint of
like some salt, and then you get the taste of
whatever that oil is that they put in it. And
it's never oil leaves. It's just the right amount of oil.
It's just taco bell is a mood I think. I

(46:21):
just And the other thing I say before we get
out of here is I love how I think that.
That for me is what gets me with like certain places,
like certain like fast food spots, consistency, like even like
because because I'll say this, like we have farmer boys
over here.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
One farmer boys.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
It's not as good as the next farmer boys, right
or yes, you know, same thing kind of like a
lot of people are like, oh, wing stop is great. No,
not all wings stops are made equally correct. There is
one wing stop on the other side of town that
is way saltier than the wingstop that's Behindshaw.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
You don't do wingstop on thirty fourth that's just that right,
like the game.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't work like That's why it's
the same thing. Like I get a lot of crap
for people saying like ill because I love KFC. I
like KFC because it's consistent. I usually know that my
chicken is always gonna taste the same. Taco Bell, McDonald's,
all of those places for me, is why I like it.

(47:26):
It's like, I know, every time I go to Taco
Bell and I get a filet of fish, it is
going to taste exactly the same. And I know, again
y'all can cancel me for like a McDonald's. I'm sorry, y'all,
But with all that to be said, I'm just really
big on consistency, and I think that's what I love
about Taco Bell is that for the last thirty nine
years of my life, they have been consistent. So I

(47:49):
just want to ask you before we jet, I would
love to know what your favorite combo meal order is.
What is it that just makes like couldn't make your
like even right now, I'm sitting in and I'm going
I have half a burrito up there I could eat
for lunch, or I could just go to the taco

(48:09):
bell that's around the corner. But I know for me
my favorite one, and I think, I hope I have
the number right, but I have my favorite. I couldn't
even say the number because I don't want to be wrong.
But my favorite is I always get the three Dorito's
locals taco because supreme.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
We gotta make it supreme, period period.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Out of half the little cuts of tomato, I need
the lettuce, I neat that cheese, and I definitely need
the sour cream. It's gotta be supreme. And then I
get eighteen more of those tacos. And then sometimes I
will get a crunch wrap added on and a five
layer burrito that I can eat later.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
That is my order.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
And I say, I don't want no steak and no chicken,
don't put none of that, and my shit, I want
all of the mystery meat. All of it is mystery meat.
I want all of this straight up mystery meat. What's
your order?

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (49:05):
So beanbrio is one like I can never go and
not have a bean brido.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
I know what there is in there.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
Beans I can really eat ship. I can't go with
a little sauce. They using the onions.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
Oh girl, I love the bean brito.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
I always get. I usually I I oscillate between certain things.
I have fox heavy with the grilled cheese brito that's
just just delicious.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
With the cheese on a crispy on top of the bridea.
Oh girl, Oh, I didn't know that that was the thing.
I often will get me.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
I'll get me a box, I'll give me, give me
one little box meals boxes.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
But I love I will.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Always get the beef favele, but I sub the beef
for more beans, so you get the nacho cheese.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
The beans, the sour cream.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
I think a little rice, it's just it's so good.
Or I'll sull with potatoes and let me a soft
hok but too South Taco girl my ship, but I
could literally live after Bembrios.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
That ship is just good every single time. Ol beans,
argument the cheeses.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
Jesus, I know what's whatever sauce that either using that
little spicy sauce.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
I'm sure it's that mild sauce that they give us
in the package. I tell you right now.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
One thing that I also like, there's five ingredients at
Taco Bell, and they remix the hell out of those
five removed.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
They work.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
They just work top, bottom, left, right. It is always
on point. I was gonna ask, though, have you tried
the nuggets?

Speaker 2 (50:38):
No comment?

Speaker 3 (50:40):
This is my point where the experiment and some things
are a hit and some things are not.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
But I will love them regardless. I think they were
not not for me.

Speaker 3 (50:51):
They were they were not the worst nuggets that had
in my life. I don't think that nuggets possibly are
there strong suit. But when they have their chicken fries,
that was delicious. I love the chicken fries. But yeah,
I like, did we get the ten piece? We did

(51:12):
where we like look at this again? No, but I
love I loved the vision and I loved I loved
the attempt they said we'll get the shot.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
I love so because you know, you know I have
eighth eighty.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
HD rain I and my my thoughts are always so vivid.
I could literally see you going back to the taco
bell with the box and pushing it back to the
person who gave it to you, being like, this isn't
for me.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
I had one nugget because you just take the respect. Yes,
thank you, and I just.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Okay, before we go, before we leave, I just want
to say, and also the same thing, Mountain Dew. If
you want to sponsor us, I will forever. So the
other day, so when I was at Taco Bell, my
husband would have a fit if he knew this up.
So y'all all know that I have diabetes and I've been.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Really really really really really really really.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Taking my sugar seriously, and I've been doing anything and
everything that I can to kind of like duck and
dodge all of like regular sugar or anything that's not
good for me. And so when I was there, the
lady gate because she actually said, what do you want
to drink? And I said, of course, diet Baha Blast.
When I got in the car, was so excited because
it wasn't it was the regular Baha Blast. My god,

(52:29):
he came through the time of Baha Blast.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
Was it Torino's Love?

Speaker 1 (52:35):
He said, won't he do it? All the way back home?
I was so happy.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
Y'all know that we have may ever hungry and gave
it and gave y'all the sugars, including ourselves. We're gonna
take a quick break and come back with y'alla said, yes,
I and no man, Pammon.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
Just today.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
All right, y'all, we are back with y'all's favorite segment,
Yes ma'am and no Man Pam this week. Mine are
very I would say they're like they're they're they're simple.
So my first yes, ma'am, I just wanted to big
ups and shout out anybody who's black with cats or
black people who understand my love for cats. I will
say this. I grew up in a non animal home.

(53:29):
My mom was very big on like I could barely
feed ja asses, why do I need to pat? That
was very much my mom's like mentality when I asked
her as a kid if we could have an animal.
And so now being an adult who a whole lass
adult who has a cat who runs their home, I
often will bring it up how much I love having
Lily in our home and the fun as much as

(53:50):
she hates us, the fun that she brings to her home.
It's just fun to sometimes play with her and see her,
you know, just being herself, just being her little, her
little self. And I did not understand that until I
got a cat, of how darling they are and how
sweet they are, how beautiful they're they're, how calming their
purrs can be with something she lays on hers It

(54:12):
is one of the most beautiful feelings. She recently just
did something that made my heart melt. So I have
a blanket that I sit with on my couch and
I usually will put it on at night because my
husband likes to keep our house ice box, and she
normally will crawl on the blanket. She'll just crawls like
my stomach or in between my legs and like make

(54:32):
herself a little fort so that way, you know, I
can't really touch her. But the other night, she like
crawled up the blanket and she like laid her head
on my shoulder, and she has never done that, and
it literally was like, oh my god, this is the
most sweetest thing.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
That she has ever done.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
So I'm just obsessed with kitties. I love cats. I
love my baby, I love your babies. Yeah, yeah, I
just I just love black people with so yes, black
people with cats. Then so the next part, no, man, Pam,
so many of you know we are coming back where

(55:10):
actually we've caught up. So by the time you hear this,
you will know that it was It's been about a
week after my trip. Me and my partner went on
the Norwegian Cruise Line. It was the most it was
a beautiful time. If you want more knowledge about my trip,
you can see my pictures. I've left a really long
kind of post on Instagram because I genuinely thought I'd
never be able to take that cruise or afford to

(55:31):
take that cruise, and so it was just a big deal.
But I will say this, one of the parts of
taking that cruise was to stay where we stayed many
of you know, I stayed in the Haven. You have
to buy the drink package. It's one of the things
that they require you to do. Like there's no way
to really opt out of it. You kind of have
to pay for it. And so me and my husband
we paid for it. I paid for it just in

(55:52):
general of like, I know, we have to so I
don't get away from it. And so when I got
on the boat and they started kind of taking drinks around,
there became this game of people being like, oh, are
you gonna order a drink? And I was like, no,
can I just get like a spitcher with water, or
can I get something with a lemon? Or can I
get you know, some water, or can I get a
diet you know, a Colt zero because you know, I
don't do coke. And there was this moment where I

(56:17):
like almost like I had to catch myself with a
bartender because I was at the I was at the
bar with my friend and also with my partner, and
the bartender I think he was being think he was
trying to be cheeky and cute, but he was like, oh,
come on, man, you know why you're on a cruise.
Let yourself go get get something to drink. And I'm
literally looking at him like, nigga, I told you I

(56:39):
don't drink like or I don't like to drink. It's
not even that I don't drink. I just don't really
like to taste of alcohol. I think it's gross. And
I was just so upset because I'm like, if someone
tells you that they don't drink or they don't like
the taste of alcohol, why are you asking them more
than once? So that is my nomn pam, Like people
will make a big stink about my folks don't engage

(57:01):
in drugs and alcohol.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Mind your fucking business.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
You don't know what people have gone through to get
to this place of like, I don't drink alcohol. I
just don't like the taste of it. That should be
the end of the conversation, like I don't need you
harping on, or I don't need you asking me more
questions about why I don't drink or why I don't
like to drink. Please stop, Like just when someone says
I don't like something or I'm not interested in something,

(57:26):
don't pressure them, Like it doesn't need to be a
fucking conversation.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
Let it be. That's all I have to say.

Speaker 3 (57:32):
Period, period it okay, my is ma'am. So my guess,
mam is to this organization called Studio B in New Orleans.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
They began as an.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
Artist response to lack of support from Hurricane Katrina and
like the and the horrible response to like from FEMA
and from like and from like governments about Hurricane Trina
and the impact I had on folks there. Black led,
black centured creative studio they took, They took housing projects
that were abandoned and like made them gorgeous art pieces.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
They were then shut down and demolished.

Speaker 3 (58:09):
They then got a warehouse space and I want to
say bywater area of New Orleans with just like gorgeous
and incredible, like giant murals. It's like sixty to sifty
thousand square feet of murals, amazing insallation art just so
fucking dope, like so so so fucking dope. It was incredible.

(58:30):
If you all have just to check them out, it's
so amazing, so much great black art, beautiful art. If
you go on you when it's hot, bring a fan,
it gets it's hot in there. But it really was
fantastic and amazing. I definitely came wit to go back
and talk about CB was just so so cool.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
I love black art, I love being blackness.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
Me just feel so so so proud of it, and
it was just, yeah, it was amazing. My Nomaan Pam
is just door desk drivers who were getting brazen these days.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
So let me preface.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
I know people are gonna be like, you classes bitch
in that that and and I can work with that, y'all.
We uh on the on the final day of our
work thing, we had to do door dash order for
a place that was like that was like three four
blocks away because like because like we're not gonna walk
like we're like we're like we're in a giant meeting.
I mess up on tip. I definitely meant to give.

(59:19):
I meant to give a certain amount. I ended up
passing four dollars accent, like four dollars like I like,
like it was it was an accident.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
I was gonna tip more because now in door dash
you can tip more.

Speaker 3 (59:29):
Afterwards the person delivers the food and they messages me
in like wow, four dollars for two four dollars for
for for a two hundred dollars order.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
Amazing.

Speaker 3 (59:40):
Now listen, baby, girl, you didn't make the food. You
didn't know you drove three blocks. Do you get me
two bags that were not heavy? Like you did not
come inside the hotel. You literally I met you outside
and took and took it from your car like you didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
You didn't, you did not do much.

Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
Like don't base that off the order, girl, because the
order means nothing, truthfu like lovingly, the order means nothing,
because like you aren't making the food.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
I would tip the people made the food.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
I meant, I meant to give them one in the
first place, and I and and I added to it.
I was like, hey, my bad, Like I actually you
did my access and I give you a bigger tip,
and I'm going to anyways, but like but like I'm
sorry you hate me and like you like things are
popping off and they're like I don't hate you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
I love getting that setting service.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
And I was like, girl like like like like I'm
sorry that you feel in your valued and like I'm
sorry that I contribute to that. I really am. And
also but like let's relaxed, babe. If you was out
here sleeking the food yourself, you have a story. But
like Uluki, you got in your car put it to
get three blocks away, which was a huge service for
us as we're gonna walk and get it shows. But
like it was it like like it was just like

(01:00:57):
the statement the message the moji with the hit in Palmoji,
and I was like, girl, don't try me, bitch, and
like like I'm a don't try me, Like, don't expect
twenty percent tip for a debt.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
I mean that you didn't make to like deliver it
to me.

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
Like I like again, I tipped more and I did
and I and and like like I like I am
like tipping climate more. I just I just like if
if I if I'm delivering food, I'm not going I'm
honestly expect a huge tip, especially because like I'm not
the one who made the food. I'm sure someone will
be like while Joe a classes of you and like
blah blah blah, and like I hear y'all, like I

(01:01:32):
hear y'all really do, I'm happy to engage and dialogue
about it. I was sitting on principle and saying, like,
I don't think I should have given a huge tip
for like and also again, if it if it was
like eight bags, it was two bags that we was
not heavy, Like it was only expensive because the best
one was expensive, but not because it was not because.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
We got hellow food.

Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
It was only we got like eight plates of like salad.
That shit was not. That was not heavy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Girl.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
I was like, because I came down like, oh, think
it's gonna be like a whole two bags two when
I actually two bags, I mean like two.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Like grocery bags. That's it, girl, that's not the match.
Calm down. So anyways, I'll just say, y'all get embrazen
as hell. Don't try me. Try jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
Yeah, I think this is a We're in a time
where everyone is like, you know, pay people with their
worth and pay people and yeah they're doing you a
service and blah blah blah. And I'm like, yes, I
get all of that, but I also think there is also,
like with everything, there's there's two sides, right, there's the
side of me that says, yes, pay people a good tip,

(01:02:31):
pay them well. I always try to give people twenty
percent when I can. There are just times where some
people just don't give me the twenty percent that I'm
that that they're.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
Money if I tip twenty percent wherever I go.

Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
When I go to a restaurant, at least percent because
they make the food, right, my guy, you just dropped
it like not, you just dropped it off, and I
make the food like you did not make the food
lovingly toss the door dash.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
They should be paying you. And that's the game. That's
the thing.

Speaker 3 (01:02:59):
People make the issue about me. They hey, you And
let's just be clear, I them. I love it for
them to do so. Some of y'all know that's all that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
Yeah, I have usual to take it up with the
people who voted No, No, you're not You're not everything
you are saying.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
I'm not pushing back on what I'm saying is is
I think that we often say I saw a TikTok
about that. Funny enough, right before I got on, they
were talking about in this TikTok about this frustration that
they had with you know, the whole system of tipping
and all of this, because if you go to other countries,
they make enough like there is no thing, there's no
such thing as tipping, because they actually make enough money

(01:03:39):
from what they're doing to not need a tip. And
I think that's the the the the game. That or
that's the thing we really need to be talking about
here is like we spend so much time talking about
the person who's buying the product, but we're not talking
about the companies who make the product and what they're
doing to to over to oversell it and to under
and to underpay us right in the process. So yes,

(01:04:00):
I would say she should really or she they he
whoever you know them, you know person, however you want
to name them. They should be going after door Dash
and not not Jordan. So I'm here for it. I'm
same thing with Uber sometimes you know my Uber sometimes
with Uber drivers sometimes you know, like for instance, if
I get a black woman and she's really cool, I'm

(01:04:21):
gonna give her more than that twenty five percent that
they offer, right, but if you if you pick me
up and all you do, like I had one driver.
He picked me up and literally was like hi, and
didn't help me get my bags in the car, didn't
say anything to me, didn't ask me how my day was,
didn't ask me, you know, if I needed a decent
temperature in the car.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
It was just very much. He picked me u from
the airport, dropped me off and was like, have a
nice doun.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
I was like, all right, well, looks like you're getting
the bottom line of the tip because all you did
was drive me. You didn't give me. You didn't give
me an experience, honey. If she would, yes, give me
a performance, give me something, honey, right, because even on
the mic, right, y'all wouldn't listen to this if we

(01:05:05):
weren't entertained, if we just kept hey, everybody, welcome to Blackfatfem.
Hope you all have a wonderful time listening to talk
about you wouldn't want to listen to that. Yeah, So right,
pa us p us what we all are. We were
here for performance? Give us something, Yes, give me something?

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
Anyway, with that being said, before we get canceled, please
send your thoughts feedback in emails at blackfel if we
haven't already been canceled. I already know people elitist, but
all that to be said. Please send us your thoughts,
feedback and emails to Blackfatfempod at.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
Gmail dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
You can also send your thoughts via social media by
interacting with our post on Instagram and Twitter by using
the handle at Black fatfelm Pod. Queen Jojo, Where can
the Dolls Fight? Of course, loves you can find me
do every day.

Speaker 3 (01:05:59):
I have week Johodanel's across all socials, my website jordanaees
dot com. If not that, you can find me finding
Michelle Williams belting out. If you want perfection shun. Yes,
I watched that become sir, because I'm so thrilled to
see my queen and Queen mcnhilty.

Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
Are you going tonight?

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Not tonight, but I will go this week some way somehow.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
Oh, you're gonna love it. We need to talk about
it when you see it. I got you to talk
about it on the on the mic. Yes, I saw
it last time I was there. Yes, Yes, it's so good.
Actually I wish I could go back and see it
again because I really, really really enjoyed it. It was
really good. So you're gonna have a You're gonna have
a ball, all right. Ask for me when I'm not
at Taco Bell, uh, because that's actually what I think

(01:06:44):
I'm going to have for lunch.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
I think I'm gonna get me some Taco Bell.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
You will find me at ww dot doctor John Paul
dot com, where I will be asking you or begging
you to keep buying my book. Other than that, shout
out to everyone who has tapped me and sent me
pictures and has told me that they gotten their copy
or whether it be signed or not, I truly do
appreciate how y'all continue to keep rocking for my book. Also,
by well, wait this comes out on Tuesday. I am

(01:07:10):
in Chicago on Wednesday. Okay, big ask, big ass, big ask.
If you have not purchased a ticket yet for my
book event in Chicago, please do U. There is a
likely chance, I'm hoping that we're at a place now
where it'll go, but there may be a chance that

(01:07:32):
I may really need y'all's help, So please, I know
I probably should have did this last episode, but if
you have not, if you're in Chicago and you are
a listener and you have the means, please I think
the tickets are only like fifteen bucks. If you don't,
I'll say this, if you really want to come to
the Chicago event and you can't afford a ticket, you
really want to be there, hit me. I will work

(01:07:53):
to make sure that you get there and that you
don't have anything to worry about. But other than that,
please catch me there. All that to be said, we
want to thank our producer Bai Wang for handling the
logistics and everyone over and I heard, who continues to
keep our show up and running. As you all may
not may have heard or may not know, we have
been renewed for another year, so you will get another
year of Black Fat Family. Honey, we're here, We're it queer.

(01:08:17):
I can't drink beer because obviously diabetes. But with that
being said, you can give me a Dorito's Dorito's local
taco or you could what's the what? What's the Is
it a gordita that they put outside with the beans
and the cheese and then they put the taco in
the middle and their my god, Yes, you can get

(01:08:37):
me one of those. I don't know what it's called,
but you can get me one of those. With that
being said, also Chris Rogers, we want to thank you
for being the wonderful editor that you are. Without him,
there would be no show or visuals. I'm still I don't.
I just I feel like we're never gonna see anything
outside of the tours for Renaissance or a Cowboy Carter

(01:09:02):
or whatever this third act is gonna be, and I've
just kind of watch three.

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
I think after act three is only something you think,
so I do. I think it'll be a while, but
I think we'll get something after that. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:09:14):
Yeah, I'd be trying not to let that ruin my day,
but I'll be thinking about that every time. Some days
I'll be having a really good dance and I'll think
Beyonnest he put no visuals off for those goddamn albums,
and it just kind of makes me upset.

Speaker 2 (01:09:24):
But anyway, all that to be said, this has been
another show.

Speaker 1 (01:09:28):
Stay black, fat, femine, fabulous, and remember what joo.

Speaker 3 (01:09:32):
Drink some water and check your sugars. That's why you're thirsty.
You may have the sugars like John, but if you don't,
then make sure you have some good water.

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
Girl.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
Mm hmmm, yes, yes, we really should get into that too.
All the different types of waters and why they're not
made equally. I'm looking at you to Soni anyway, all
that to be said, I have a great time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:53):
I love us for real. Bye sweet me.