June 8, 2025 • 26 mins
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed, Annie Yatch.
A leadership and performance coach specializing in helping high-achieving entrepreneurs balance business growth with personal fulfillment. The discussion focused on leadership, relationships, and overcoming subconscious barriers to success.
🔑 Key Themes & Highlights
Balancing Business & Personal Life
- Yatch helps ambitious entrepreneurs struggling to balance home life and business growth.
- She emphasized that success at work doesn’t mean sacrificing relationships—leaders must redefine their roles at home.
The Importance of Transition Time
- Many entrepreneurs struggle to switch from work mode to home life, leading to stress in relationships.
- Yatch recommends a 30-minute decompression routine before entering the home, including:
- Writing down lingering work concerns.
- Engaging in a mindless activity like listening to music.
- Reflecting on positive memories with loved ones to shift emotional energy.
Leadership Gaps in Entrepreneurs
- Yatch identified three major leadership gaps that hold entrepreneurs back:
- Delegation – Many leaders struggle to trust their teams, leading to micromanagement.
- Feedback – Entrepreneurs must learn to give and receive feedback effectively without defensiveness.
- Planning – Businesses often fail to plan for obstacles, focusing only on ideal scenarios.
Trauma & Entrepreneurial Success
- Yatch explained that many entrepreneurs have unresolved childhood trauma, leading them to create chaos in business as a way to regain control.
- She emphasized that stability at home is crucial for scaling a business successfully.
📘 About Annie Yatch
Annie Yatch is a team leadership and performance coach, specializing in helping entrepreneurs unlock their full potential. She is the founder of Northstar Leadership, a company dedicated to helping high-achieving men redefine leadership at home and in business.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I am Rashwan McDonald, the host of Money Making Conversations Masterclass,
where we encourage people to stop reading other people's success
stories and start planning their own. Listen up as I
interview entrepreneurs from around the country, talk to celebrities and
ask them how they are running their companies, and speak
with dog profits who are making.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
A difference in their local communities.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Now, sit back and listen as we unlock the secrets
to their success on Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hello, Hello, Hello, this is Rashan McDonald. Welcome to Money
Making Conversations Masterclass. As I stated earlier, the information and
interviews and information that this show provides off for everyone.
I'm here to help you reach your American dream. Just listen,
and if you listen carefully to my guests. So what
I'm trying to say, I am not trying to win
you over. I'm just trying to give you information that
(00:57):
you can take and kind of like marinate and make
your life better. And so that's what we do. If
we meet, we listen, we talk, and we become friends
and we win. If you want to be a guest
on my show, please visit Moneymaking Conversations dot Com and
click the b I Guess button. Let's get this show
started because she's on the line. My guest transitioned from
(01:19):
her role as a consultant for the Defense Intelligence Agency
to become one of America's most prominent team leadership and
performance coaches from startups to multimillion dollar enterprises. She drives
consistent and remarkable results. Please, welcome to Money Making Conversation
Mathster Class, Annie Yachts. How are you doing, Annie?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I'm great. I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for
having me.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Now, where are you calling from? So I can make
sure everybody knows the democratic, the geographical location and time
zones you're working from today.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Well, I am out of person of Utah today. Okay,
So I'm in a good zone. I hope.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Good show.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Great, So I'm Eastsia two hours a two hour time
that's all different. Thank you for being able to marry
the time because it's a live show and you got
to call it on time. Now now, and this is
the first time we talked, and I I had you
on my podcast and the information you were delivering to
me and my audience on my podcast I thought was
so incredible. That I wanted to share to my live
(02:18):
audience in the Atlanta, Georgia area, and also streams the
worldwide on money making conversations Master Lives. Can you tell
everybody before we really get into the nuts and boats
of the interview, what you do?
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Sure, I'd love to so I help very ambitious, high
performing entrepreneurs who struggle with that balance between home life
and business growth, who are really looking to scale and
grow rapidly, but they don't know what that missing link
is or what's pulling them back from obtaining more in
their life.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Now, he was the interesting thing about it because I
was going through the interview and then I went Norseal
Leadership is a company driven to help already successful mail
entrepreneurs surpass revenue sealing by redefining that leadership at home
and in the office, that balance. You always talking about
(03:07):
women and parenting and the children and all that, But
we tend to leave the stress that men are under.
How do they you know? They get up, We go,
we get up, I have to clean, I have to
include myself and it andy. We get up, we go
to work, deal with all that stress. Then we come
back home and we don't know how to kind of
like navigate the relationship we either have with our spouse
(03:30):
or the significant other who may be at home waiting
to have a conversation with you and you don't feel
you don't know how to turn it off or turn
it on. Talk to us about that transition.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Sure, that transition that honestly is one of the hardest
things for so many of the men that I coach,
because you're you know, you're on all day at the
office or in your business. You're absolutely crushing it, you're
getting validated because you're creating incredible impact. And then a
lot of men they'll sit in there, you know, in
their cars on the driveway and the way home and
just be like, gosh, I don't even know if I
want to go into my house right now because I
don't know what I'm going to walk into. And so
(04:02):
what's been interesting is when we talk about that transition,
it's almost like we got to make sure that men
have some downtime in between the office persona that they
need to play and that sort of husband lover, father
persona that they need to have now when they walk
through the door, and that transition time. For most men,
they don't get it. They don't have the ability to
have that time because they're rushing from one thing to
(04:23):
the next, and that also contributes to not being able
to turn off their brain or their mind and to
be really present with their family too.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Well, you know, and I have that problem too. I
do have that problem. I'll go home and in my
wife and go, oh, what you do today? And I
just look at her because I'll just look at her,
you know, because I know what I've done. But then
do I want.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
To go through it all?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Share that information? And so can you give Rushaun McDonald
and my male listeners and also the women who are
listening to the show who are dealing with these issues
with men like me who come home knowing we have
to communicate, nor we because we've been communicating all day now,
It's not like we can't talk all day all day now.
(05:07):
We have to come out with dan do a different
version of it, but be comfortable about it and don't
feel like why are you bothering me type attitude talk
to Well.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Well, let me give you the secret sauce here. And
you might think this a little bit out there, right,
but what I can tell you is that if a
man is able to take some transition time between when
he leaves the office and he comes home. And what
I tell most men to do is I tell them
to think about, and this might be controversial, to think
about the time they've had with their spouse or significant
other where they were like they were feeling super sexually
connected to them, right, because that usually allows a man
(05:39):
to shift out of that work persona into something into
like that you know, more of that like husband lover persona,
and when you walk into the house feeling those feelings
of being more emotionally connected, then when your spouse says
to you, like, well, what'd you do today? Right, the
whole point there is you can either redirect it back
onto her and be like, well, maybe I want to
hear what you did today, you know? Or or right,
(06:02):
you can say you can walk in and you can
be like, you know what, I would love to just
have a moment to connect with you rather than going
back through my entire day, because connection is what's the
most important thing.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
So it's like, you know, watch a movie or something,
or share our meal or do something together. That's what
you are suggesting.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Well, it could be that, but what I like to
have a lot of couples do, or significant others do
and they're together, is spend five minutes just almost like
sitting next to each other, touching each other, holding each
other's hands, even looking to each other's eyes, just to
calm the nervous system enough that men and women together
or significant others together can feel that connection again, because
(06:40):
when we rush through our day, we're not feeling the connection.
We're just going from one thing to the next thing.
And what most couples lack is that connection intimacy of
just staying into each other's eyes and seeing each other.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Now you say something that's a part of it. Yeah,
you say something early, and I'm like creating a down
moment like you said. Now, I don't go home and
sit in my driveway. You know, I don't do that now.
But sometimes when I my staff leaves at five, I'll
like an hour, I'll go through different things and because
I don't have them to deal with now now just
Shane by himself, and it allows me to slow down
(07:14):
a little bit and think about I might turn on ESPN,
I might do different things that have gotten me out
of this dominating.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
We've got to decompress here, right, decompressed and so and
so is that is that what I'm doing right?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Would you suggest that to individuals who are dealing with
this massive amount of information they are dealing with at
the office before they go home talk to us.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yes. So, what I typically recommend for almost all men
who are you know, high powered, high ambition guys, is
that they have to take at least half an hour
between leaving the office and getting home to decompress. And
usually what that looks like is I have them spend
about ten minutes writing down all the things that they're
concerned about, because at the end of the day, if
your brain is still looping on everything is the work on.
(08:00):
It feels like you have thousands of open loops and
we need to close those off in order for you
to be present when you get home. So the first
ten minutes you plan writing down everything that comes to
your mind that you don't want to forget or you're
worried about. Then you spend ten minutes doing some activity
that's a little bit mindless. It can be listening to
music that makes you feel jazzed up. It can be
taking a ten minute ESPN break. It could be anything
(08:21):
though that's not on your phone, per se but might
be on a screen in front of you. We just
don't want you to be locked into your phone, if
that's possible. And then after those ten minutes, I tell them,
for five to ten minutes, I want you to think
of all the amazing moments and memories you've had with
your spouse or significant other, and I want you to
go from whether it's a vacation you've been on together
(08:42):
or an incredible intimate encounter you've had. I just want
the men to think about that for five to ten
minutes before they leave the office, because that puts you
in a completely different zone of emotion, of feeling, of connection,
and it makes you want to go home to experience
more of that. So it's almost like a third minute,
you know, package of ten minutes, you know, just to
reset yourself a little bit and download everything from the day.
(09:05):
Ten minutes to be in a decompression zone, and then
ten minutes to be in the memories and the feelings
of how amazing your relationship has been in the past.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Now here's the thing. Whoever's waiting on us at home,
they know, they know they know who's coming home. They
know they've they've been dealing with this what can they
do at the house waiting on this this, this non
verbally communicating master come through the door. There's there's wired up,
(09:35):
there's intense What can they do to prepare for that,
to offset it a little bit?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Well, I can tell you what I've coached a lot
of women on doing. But it may not be it
may be controversial.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Right, Oh no, no, don't do comperies controversial.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
I was gonna tell you, like these women, I'm like,
it is your job, make sure that you have taken
at least half an hour to an hour for yourself,
but some way so that you're I'm not you know,
waiting for him to walk through the door to jump
on him. Right, right, You could jump on it if
you want to, in a hugging, like touching, kissing way. Right.
The whole point is when the man walks into the home,
(10:10):
we typically need to give him at least a wide
birth of ten to fifteen minutes him to settle in,
pepper him with questions or before we ask him about
his day, Like I just like to you know, when
I've been in relationships, I let the men walk into
the room, I say nothing other than maybe I'll go
over and give him a big hug and a kiss
and be like, I'm so happy you're home. And then
I distanced myself to give him time and space to settle.
And I make sure that when my man walks through
(10:32):
the door that I have done whatever I needed to
to calm my energy down and to get more into
this beautiful feminine connection vibe. Because from my perspective, the
man gets to what he gets to do to transition,
but so does the woman. We have a job to
do as well, right.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Because it's all about connecting. It's all about, you know,
carrying that moment of positivity and not allowing That's what
you said. Nor Star Leadership is a company driven to
help already successful male entrepreneurs. Is talk about revenue, that's
what you've been doing all day, but redefining a leadership
at home, and I should also say relationship at home
(11:07):
and in the office. That's that's why I was important
that I wanted to bring you on the show and
also be honest about what I'm doing and what, well
how I'm affected by. But you used the word when
we talked earlier, trauma, and how does that affect the entrepreneur?
The word trauma because you rarely hear well, you.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Rarely hear that word. But what I would tell everyone
listening is that when you are an entrepreneur, it means
that you've gone through something in your life that created
almost like some chaos that you wanted to be able
to manage and control. And so, as an entrepreneur, we
have had so many moments in our lives where we've
perceived a loss of control. And if you think about
(11:45):
back into your childhood, right these moments where you perceive
a loss of control and you feel helpless or unable
to respond to something, if you get really good at
managing that as a child, you're going to become an
entrepreneur because you can then get really good at putting
outsires and solving problems and being the person that everybody
comes to to get help or to get something done.
(12:06):
And so as entrepreneurs, it's really important to look at
your childhood a bit and be like, Okay, what was
my childhoodok what was there chaos there that I had
to manage? Because more often than not, we will create
chaos and business as an entrepreneur to try to manage
that same thing. And so I believe that all entrepreneurs
have some level of trauma in their background, and it's
very interesting to look at if you have a dynamic
(12:29):
in your home environment that's not as stable as you want.
I would say about ninety percent of entrepreneurs can't grow
and scale their business because they don't feel like they
have the stability at home to grow and scale, even
though they might want to, even though they might be
working around the clock and really grinding, they might not
be able to change the state of their business until
they lead differently at home and they take that then
(12:49):
into their business life.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Okay, good, this is all great. I feel I'm becoming
a better person, and hopefully every person who's listening is
becoming a better person. And really is the interviewers focusing
on the men and what we have to acknowledge because
pride sets in work like weakness to can set in
and hold back to change. There are a lot of
(13:11):
bad words that we use as men that prevent us
from making the steps that you are suggesting. Correct And it's.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Very very true, very true, and many men are you know,
we don't like to ask for help, whether we're high
powered men or high powered women, right because we think
that asking for help is something that makes us weak
or vulnerable. But the reality is, as we go to
higher levels of performance for ourselves in our business, the
more we ask for help, the more we allow other
people to be on purpose in our lives. So I
(13:42):
think of asking for help now, and I always tell
myself every single person that I ask for help from,
they can step into their purpose, which means they're going
to be more motivated, more inspired. And if I can
give that to a member of my team, then everybody
is winning. So I always look at asking for help
now as an ability to give somebody purpose. And so
we have to change some of these paradigms as to
(14:02):
how we think about ourselves and how we think about
reaching out for support, otherwise we aren't going to up
level our performance.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Cool. I'm speaking one of America's most prominent team leadership
and performance coaches. Northstow Leadership is a company. Her name any.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Yacht, Please don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with
more Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Welcome back to the Money
Making Conversations Masterclass, hosted by Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversations
Masterclass continues online at Moneymakingconversations dot com and follow Money
(14:41):
making conversations masterclass on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
No leadership. That's the company that any Yacht founded is
driven to have already successful male entrepreneurs or past revenue
ceilings by redefining that leadership role at home and in
the office. I told you earlier any that this this
is a live show, unlike my podcast. So already my
phone is blowing up with text man okay, And one
(15:08):
of the questions that keeps coming back rotating on my
texts is okay, rashon, what about dual incomes? What about
if the woman works and the man works. Okay, she's
not waiting at home for him to arrive all ten
stuff and war not. How do you deal with that? Annie?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yes, well I've got an answer for you. So here's
what it really comes down to, ladies and gentlemen. It
comes down to the fact that both partners in a
relationship need to spend time decompressing before they re enter
the connection point of their relationship, which is the home.
So I would say the same thing to a man
that I would say to a woman here, which is
you have to have that decompression transition time where you
(15:49):
reconnect to who you are as a connected spouse or partner,
so you can feel those same feelings that got you
involved in with that person from the get go. And
most of us we raised from job to home, to
dinner to you know, family time, then to bed, and
we're not very present for most of it. What I'm
asking everybody to do is slow way down and give
yourselves a chance to reconnect to the feeling that got
(16:12):
you into that relationship with that person to start, so
you can be much more present in all of your
interaction with them once you walk through those doors. Whether
you're the breadwinner or a dual breadwinner couple, or you know,
it's some variety of both of those now here.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
It's something interesting that when we talk about entrepreneurship, I
always see people having different visions to their pathway to
be an entrepreneur. How did you see this as an
opportunity for you or did something happen period of time
you start seeing patterns in relationships, How did you develop
this as a form of entrepreneurship for your career?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
So, to be really upfront with you, what I'd noticed.
I started working with a lot of companies at first,
and there were these high level executive teams that I
would work with, and what I started noticing is I
could teach the team how to be extreme high level performers,
but then the CEO or the entrepreneur would keep jumping
back in to try to fix things or change things
after the team was performing at a much higher level.
(17:10):
And after watching this for about ten years, I was like,
I can't teach the team. I've got to go after
this entrepreneur and figure out what is causing this entrepreneur
keep jumping back in even though the goal of the
entrepreneurs to get out of the organization and be able
to grow the organization without having to be involved in
the weeds all the time. And what I also realized
was these entrepreneurs they had some pattern in them that
(17:33):
was keeping them stuck in a certain level of their
own performance. So once I started digging in a little
bit deeper there, I started to see the patterns across
a variety of different entrepreneurs. And that's when I actually
realized with Sean that my ex husband and I we
had very similar trauma patterns that were causing us to
be stuck in our business. So when I was looking
(17:54):
at the patterns that we were in and I was
comparing those to all the other entrepreneurs that I'd worked with,
I started to see that there is almost always a
missing link or a blind spot in every single entrepreneur.
They literally cannot see what is stuck in their subconscious thought.
Because subconscious thought runs at about eleven million data points
a second, our conscious thought is only forty data points,
(18:16):
there's a lot missed in between. I actually just did
a session with the Gentleman last week, and he has
been caught in his business making a set amount of
money for years and he can't he couldn't get over
that barrier of getting to the next level. And I
sat down with him. I looked at the patterns between
his home life and his business life, and we were
able to identify that he wasn't stepping into more of
(18:37):
a masculine role in his home life, and he wasn't
stepping into the masculine role in his business. So once
we identified some ways to get him out of that
more i would say neutral or feminine role in his
home life or in his business, everything started to change.
He just texted me, He's like, I've already put it
into place the things you shared with me, and we
just grew this month by an extra ten k. So
(18:58):
it may not seem like a lot, but ten k
is a great change from one small change in your brain.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Wow, Now it's all about leadership. You know, we talk
about leadership a lot on this show. The word vision
areas used a lot in public and positive you know,
follow your passions and things like that. What are the
top three leadership gaps for both entrepreneurs.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
That's an awesome question. I've found from the past fifteen
years of working with companies probably ranging from about a
million to one point two billion, that the top three
leadership gaps are. Number one, there's a delegation gap. Most
people are not very good at delegating. They're not good
at holding responsibility and passing it to other people. So
you have a lot of balls that are dropped unnecessarily
(19:41):
so in business. So delegation is the first one. The
second one is giving and receiving feedback. That is connecting
because almost always when we're giving feedback it's because quote
unquote we've done something wrong. Most of us get defensive,
we lose productivity because we start second guessing our skill set.
So we have to learn to give and receive feedback
in a way that's much more connecting to allow us
(20:04):
to keep our productivity very high. So the second one
is that feedback gap, and then the third one is
typically a planning gap. And most people think that they're
very good at planning, but what most companies and individuals
tend to do is they tend to plan for the
perfect plan. Not many people work on contingency planning, and
(20:24):
most people don't talk to their teams about how they
contingency plan, and so you end up everybody goes after
this perfect plan that everybody thinks is going to happen
to be great, but we haven't planned for all the
fires that are going to happen, all the issues that
are going to come up, and we haven't planned how
to solve those before we launch a plan that contingency planning.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Right, those are the three things, and I thank you
for sharing it with my audience. Fulfillment that's something that
drives me in that drives a lot of pentrebneus because
you because you if your goal or in a person,
then fulfillment is the goal, the complete but it's also
a consistency. But it also creates trauma because if you
(21:05):
don't see yourself achieving that level of fulfillment, then it
keeps not only where drama comes in, but also trauma
comes in there. Can you discuss that with my audience?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Yes. So one of the things that I realized from
working with all these entrepreneurs is that most of us
never really feel fulfilled and we don't feel a high
level of fulfillment because we're constantly going from one goal
or objective to the next, and when we get to
that goal or objective, we have a blip, like a
small moment of congratulating ourselves, and then we're on to
(21:37):
the next thing. So with most entrepreneurs that I worked with,
we had to redefine how we look at success because
what most people don't know and understand sometimes is that
and it's not our fault, right, we're conditioned to not
know that success is a feeling. So if success is
a feeling, and we redefine it to be, for example,
a sustainable feeling that we can experience every day that
(21:59):
can news over time, then success becomes something that we
can feel much more often. If we tie it to
a goal or to an objective, then we're constantly striving
trying to get to that feeling of getting to that
objective instead of creating a life for ourselves where we
feel good every day because we've redefined what success means
to us. So I spent a lot of time with
(22:20):
entrepreneurs looking at, well, what is your ideal day? And
how do we create that for you? And from that
ideal day and that feeling that you get from it,
how do we bring that into more of your business experience?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
And you know, I want to share something with my
audience as well as you, Like I get up at
four thirty, and sometimes I fell into a bad habit
of working before I got to work, And so when
I got to work, I found myself just sitting in
my office going what do I do? Because I've already
completed so much work? So and so now I've learned, Okay,
(22:52):
we're shull, relax, stretch. Do use that moment of getting
up early. You can do some work, but don't turn
it into work. And when you get to work, then
it allows a comfortable transition for you and your employees
to be able to relate because you can come sometimes
start your job too far ahead of your employees and
(23:13):
so they just stand at you going okay, what coffee
did he drink? All right, can he slow down from me?
Can you help me out? And so my last question
is as we wrap up this interview, is that how
can as a leader, as an entrepreneur, the relationship between
your employees and you, how can you make that better?
And I may have shared something on my end that
(23:34):
I'm trying to do better that that means not come
in the room so fired up that you you fatigue,
got you your staff, or intimidate them. What are your suggestions?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
So I have a couple of suggestions. I think the
first thing, well, the first one, honestly, is that we've
got to as entrepreneurs, we have to embody this like
this way of going about our lives where we actually
we feel better and we show our team that we're
not grinding twenty four to seven. So one of the
(24:06):
first things I tell entrepreneurs is if you want to
connect more deeply with your team, you have to show
them that you're taking time for yourself and making sure
that you're in the right mental space. So for me,
when I frontload my day, I don't get up at
four thirty in the morning because I'm going to do
a lot of extra work. I get up at four
thirty in the morning to make sure that I can
do all the things that matter to me, Like I
make sure I have an amazing breakfast, I get a
(24:27):
great workout in, I have some time with my Bible,
I talk to a couple of my amazing friends or
partners in this leadership work that I do. I make
sure I have a lot of connection early on in
the morning because that allows me to show up filled
up before I ever interact with my employees. I'm filled up,
I'm calm, I'm connected, and people feel that energy when
(24:47):
you walk in the door, and then they feel like, wow,
I want to be like that. I want to have
that same feeling, and then they start taking better care
of themselves as well, because again, if we want the
whole team to win, we all have to sort of
take ourselves to that next level of performance, which might
not me working really early in the morning. It might
be taking care of ourselves in front, loading our day
with some wins that when we walk into the office,
(25:07):
we've got the best energy we can have to attract
the most business and to attract the highest level of
performance from our team.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
As usually, You're amazing, Annie, Can you tell people with
my audience, how we can reach out and you know contact.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
You of course, well you can find me on Instagram,
Northstar dot Annie, or you can also always email me
Annie A N N I E at north Star Leadership
School dot com.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Thank you my friend, and we will talk soon, because
I would tell you, just like free therapy for we shine,
it makes me a better person, makes me a better person,
but also hopefully amazing to go makes hopefully I'm sure
it makes a lot of my audience members. And because
again the fact that men needs men need to start
acknowledging not flaws, just just energies that are not comfortable.
(25:55):
When you go home and say I'm honey, I'm home
and know you're not, you just walk through the door.
You should walk through the door understanding that you need
to calm down and there's a person who's going to
start talking to you, and you should show appreciation that
they care enough to want to talk to you.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Is very true.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
All I want to do is I appreciate Jan we
talked to my friend. Thank you for coming on Money
Making Conversations Masterclass. Talk to him. This has been another
edition of Money Making Conversation Masterclass posted by me Rashaun McDonald.
Thank you to our guests on the show today, and
thank you our listening to audience now. If you want
to listen to any episode I want to be a
guest on the show, visit Moneymaking Conversations dot com. Our
(26:38):
social media handle is money Making Conversations. Join us next
week and remember to always leave with your gifts. Keep winning.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I am Rashwan McDonald, the host of Money Making Conversations Masterclass,
where we encourage people to stop reading other people's success
stories and start planning their own. Listen up as I
interview entrepreneurs from around the country, talk to celebrities and
ask them how they are running their companies, and speak
with dog profits who are making.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
A difference in their local communities.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Now, sit back and listen as we unlock the secrets
to their success on Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hello, Hello, Hello, this is Rashan McDonald. Welcome to Money
Making Conversations Masterclass. As I stated earlier, the information and
interviews and information that this show provides off for everyone.
I'm here to help you reach your American dream. Just listen,
and if you listen carefully to my guests. So what
I'm trying to say, I am not trying to win
you over. I'm just trying to give you information that
(00:57):
you can take and kind of like marinate and make
your life better. And so that's what we do. If
we meet, we listen, we talk, and we become friends
and we win. If you want to be a guest
on my show, please visit Moneymaking Conversations dot Com and
click the b I Guess button. Let's get this show
started because she's on the line. My guest transitioned from
(01:19):
her role as a consultant for the Defense Intelligence Agency
to become one of America's most prominent team leadership and
performance coaches from startups to multimillion dollar enterprises. She drives
consistent and remarkable results. Please, welcome to Money Making Conversation
Mathster Class, Annie Yachts. How are you doing, Annie?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I'm great. I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for
having me.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Now, where are you calling from? So I can make
sure everybody knows the democratic, the geographical location and time
zones you're working from today.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Well, I am out of person of Utah today. Okay,
So I'm in a good zone. I hope.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Good show.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Great, So I'm Eastsia two hours a two hour time
that's all different. Thank you for being able to marry
the time because it's a live show and you got
to call it on time. Now now, and this is
the first time we talked, and I I had you
on my podcast and the information you were delivering to
me and my audience on my podcast I thought was
so incredible. That I wanted to share to my live
(02:18):
audience in the Atlanta, Georgia area, and also streams the
worldwide on money making conversations Master Lives. Can you tell
everybody before we really get into the nuts and boats
of the interview, what you do?
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Sure, I'd love to so I help very ambitious, high
performing entrepreneurs who struggle with that balance between home life
and business growth, who are really looking to scale and
grow rapidly, but they don't know what that missing link
is or what's pulling them back from obtaining more in
their life.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Now, he was the interesting thing about it because I
was going through the interview and then I went Norseal
Leadership is a company driven to help already successful mail
entrepreneurs surpass revenue sealing by redefining that leadership at home
and in the office, that balance. You always talking about
(03:07):
women and parenting and the children and all that, But
we tend to leave the stress that men are under.
How do they you know? They get up, We go,
we get up, I have to clean, I have to
include myself and it andy. We get up, we go
to work, deal with all that stress. Then we come
back home and we don't know how to kind of
like navigate the relationship we either have with our spouse
(03:30):
or the significant other who may be at home waiting
to have a conversation with you and you don't feel
you don't know how to turn it off or turn
it on. Talk to us about that transition.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Sure, that transition that honestly is one of the hardest
things for so many of the men that I coach,
because you're you know, you're on all day at the
office or in your business. You're absolutely crushing it, you're
getting validated because you're creating incredible impact. And then a
lot of men they'll sit in there, you know, in
their cars on the driveway and the way home and
just be like, gosh, I don't even know if I
want to go into my house right now because I
don't know what I'm going to walk into. And so
(04:02):
what's been interesting is when we talk about that transition,
it's almost like we got to make sure that men
have some downtime in between the office persona that they
need to play and that sort of husband lover, father
persona that they need to have now when they walk
through the door, and that transition time. For most men,
they don't get it. They don't have the ability to
have that time because they're rushing from one thing to
(04:23):
the next, and that also contributes to not being able
to turn off their brain or their mind and to
be really present with their family too.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Well, you know, and I have that problem too. I
do have that problem. I'll go home and in my
wife and go, oh, what you do today? And I
just look at her because I'll just look at her,
you know, because I know what I've done. But then
do I want.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
To go through it all?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Share that information? And so can you give Rushaun McDonald
and my male listeners and also the women who are
listening to the show who are dealing with these issues
with men like me who come home knowing we have
to communicate, nor we because we've been communicating all day now,
It's not like we can't talk all day all day now.
(05:07):
We have to come out with dan do a different
version of it, but be comfortable about it and don't
feel like why are you bothering me type attitude talk
to Well.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Well, let me give you the secret sauce here. And
you might think this a little bit out there, right,
but what I can tell you is that if a
man is able to take some transition time between when
he leaves the office and he comes home. And what
I tell most men to do is I tell them
to think about, and this might be controversial, to think
about the time they've had with their spouse or significant
other where they were like they were feeling super sexually
connected to them, right, because that usually allows a man
(05:39):
to shift out of that work persona into something into
like that you know, more of that like husband lover persona,
and when you walk into the house feeling those feelings
of being more emotionally connected, then when your spouse says
to you, like, well, what'd you do today? Right, the
whole point there is you can either redirect it back
onto her and be like, well, maybe I want to
hear what you did today, you know? Or or right,
(06:02):
you can say you can walk in and you can
be like, you know what, I would love to just
have a moment to connect with you rather than going
back through my entire day, because connection is what's the
most important thing.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
So it's like, you know, watch a movie or something,
or share our meal or do something together. That's what
you are suggesting.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Well, it could be that, but what I like to
have a lot of couples do, or significant others do
and they're together, is spend five minutes just almost like
sitting next to each other, touching each other, holding each
other's hands, even looking to each other's eyes, just to
calm the nervous system enough that men and women together
or significant others together can feel that connection again, because
(06:40):
when we rush through our day, we're not feeling the connection.
We're just going from one thing to the next thing.
And what most couples lack is that connection intimacy of
just staying into each other's eyes and seeing each other.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Now you say something that's a part of it. Yeah,
you say something early, and I'm like creating a down
moment like you said. Now, I don't go home and
sit in my driveway. You know, I don't do that now.
But sometimes when I my staff leaves at five, I'll
like an hour, I'll go through different things and because
I don't have them to deal with now now just
Shane by himself, and it allows me to slow down
(07:14):
a little bit and think about I might turn on ESPN,
I might do different things that have gotten me out
of this dominating.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
We've got to decompress here, right, decompressed and so and
so is that is that what I'm doing right?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Would you suggest that to individuals who are dealing with
this massive amount of information they are dealing with at
the office before they go home talk to us.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yes. So, what I typically recommend for almost all men
who are you know, high powered, high ambition guys, is
that they have to take at least half an hour
between leaving the office and getting home to decompress. And
usually what that looks like is I have them spend
about ten minutes writing down all the things that they're
concerned about, because at the end of the day, if
your brain is still looping on everything is the work on.
(08:00):
It feels like you have thousands of open loops and
we need to close those off in order for you
to be present when you get home. So the first
ten minutes you plan writing down everything that comes to
your mind that you don't want to forget or you're
worried about. Then you spend ten minutes doing some activity
that's a little bit mindless. It can be listening to
music that makes you feel jazzed up. It can be
taking a ten minute ESPN break. It could be anything
(08:21):
though that's not on your phone, per se but might
be on a screen in front of you. We just
don't want you to be locked into your phone, if
that's possible. And then after those ten minutes, I tell them,
for five to ten minutes, I want you to think
of all the amazing moments and memories you've had with
your spouse or significant other, and I want you to
go from whether it's a vacation you've been on together
(08:42):
or an incredible intimate encounter you've had. I just want
the men to think about that for five to ten
minutes before they leave the office, because that puts you
in a completely different zone of emotion, of feeling, of connection,
and it makes you want to go home to experience
more of that. So it's almost like a third minute,
you know, package of ten minutes, you know, just to
reset yourself a little bit and download everything from the day.
(09:05):
Ten minutes to be in a decompression zone, and then
ten minutes to be in the memories and the feelings
of how amazing your relationship has been in the past.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Now here's the thing. Whoever's waiting on us at home,
they know, they know they know who's coming home. They
know they've they've been dealing with this what can they
do at the house waiting on this this, this non
verbally communicating master come through the door. There's there's wired up,
(09:35):
there's intense What can they do to prepare for that,
to offset it a little bit?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Well, I can tell you what I've coached a lot
of women on doing. But it may not be it
may be controversial.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Right, Oh no, no, don't do comperies controversial.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
I was gonna tell you, like these women, I'm like,
it is your job, make sure that you have taken
at least half an hour to an hour for yourself,
but some way so that you're I'm not you know,
waiting for him to walk through the door to jump
on him. Right, right, You could jump on it if
you want to, in a hugging, like touching, kissing way. Right.
The whole point is when the man walks into the home,
(10:10):
we typically need to give him at least a wide
birth of ten to fifteen minutes him to settle in,
pepper him with questions or before we ask him about
his day, Like I just like to you know, when
I've been in relationships, I let the men walk into
the room, I say nothing other than maybe I'll go
over and give him a big hug and a kiss
and be like, I'm so happy you're home. And then
I distanced myself to give him time and space to settle.
And I make sure that when my man walks through
(10:32):
the door that I have done whatever I needed to
to calm my energy down and to get more into
this beautiful feminine connection vibe. Because from my perspective, the
man gets to what he gets to do to transition,
but so does the woman. We have a job to
do as well, right.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Because it's all about connecting. It's all about, you know,
carrying that moment of positivity and not allowing That's what
you said. Nor Star Leadership is a company driven to
help already successful male entrepreneurs. Is talk about revenue, that's
what you've been doing all day, but redefining a leadership
at home, and I should also say relationship at home
(11:07):
and in the office. That's that's why I was important
that I wanted to bring you on the show and
also be honest about what I'm doing and what, well
how I'm affected by. But you used the word when
we talked earlier, trauma, and how does that affect the entrepreneur?
The word trauma because you rarely hear well, you.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Rarely hear that word. But what I would tell everyone
listening is that when you are an entrepreneur, it means
that you've gone through something in your life that created
almost like some chaos that you wanted to be able
to manage and control. And so, as an entrepreneur, we
have had so many moments in our lives where we've
perceived a loss of control. And if you think about
(11:45):
back into your childhood, right these moments where you perceive
a loss of control and you feel helpless or unable
to respond to something, if you get really good at
managing that as a child, you're going to become an
entrepreneur because you can then get really good at putting
outsires and solving problems and being the person that everybody
comes to to get help or to get something done.
(12:06):
And so as entrepreneurs, it's really important to look at
your childhood a bit and be like, Okay, what was
my childhoodok what was there chaos there that I had
to manage? Because more often than not, we will create
chaos and business as an entrepreneur to try to manage
that same thing. And so I believe that all entrepreneurs
have some level of trauma in their background, and it's
very interesting to look at if you have a dynamic
(12:29):
in your home environment that's not as stable as you want.
I would say about ninety percent of entrepreneurs can't grow
and scale their business because they don't feel like they
have the stability at home to grow and scale, even
though they might want to, even though they might be
working around the clock and really grinding, they might not
be able to change the state of their business until
they lead differently at home and they take that then
(12:49):
into their business life.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Okay, good, this is all great. I feel I'm becoming
a better person, and hopefully every person who's listening is
becoming a better person. And really is the interviewers focusing
on the men and what we have to acknowledge because
pride sets in work like weakness to can set in
and hold back to change. There are a lot of
(13:11):
bad words that we use as men that prevent us
from making the steps that you are suggesting. Correct And it's.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Very very true, very true, and many men are you know,
we don't like to ask for help, whether we're high
powered men or high powered women, right because we think
that asking for help is something that makes us weak
or vulnerable. But the reality is, as we go to
higher levels of performance for ourselves in our business, the
more we ask for help, the more we allow other
people to be on purpose in our lives. So I
(13:42):
think of asking for help now, and I always tell
myself every single person that I ask for help from,
they can step into their purpose, which means they're going
to be more motivated, more inspired. And if I can
give that to a member of my team, then everybody
is winning. So I always look at asking for help
now as an ability to give somebody purpose. And so
we have to change some of these paradigms as to
(14:02):
how we think about ourselves and how we think about
reaching out for support, otherwise we aren't going to up
level our performance.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Cool. I'm speaking one of America's most prominent team leadership
and performance coaches. Northstow Leadership is a company. Her name any.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Yacht, Please don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with
more Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Welcome back to the Money
Making Conversations Masterclass, hosted by Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversations
Masterclass continues online at Moneymakingconversations dot com and follow Money
(14:41):
making conversations masterclass on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
No leadership. That's the company that any Yacht founded is
driven to have already successful male entrepreneurs or past revenue
ceilings by redefining that leadership role at home and in
the office. I told you earlier any that this this
is a live show, unlike my podcast. So already my
phone is blowing up with text man okay, And one
(15:08):
of the questions that keeps coming back rotating on my
texts is okay, rashon, what about dual incomes? What about
if the woman works and the man works. Okay, she's
not waiting at home for him to arrive all ten
stuff and war not. How do you deal with that? Annie?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yes, well I've got an answer for you. So here's
what it really comes down to, ladies and gentlemen. It
comes down to the fact that both partners in a
relationship need to spend time decompressing before they re enter
the connection point of their relationship, which is the home.
So I would say the same thing to a man
that I would say to a woman here, which is
you have to have that decompression transition time where you
(15:49):
reconnect to who you are as a connected spouse or partner,
so you can feel those same feelings that got you
involved in with that person from the get go. And
most of us we raised from job to home, to
dinner to you know, family time, then to bed, and
we're not very present for most of it. What I'm
asking everybody to do is slow way down and give
yourselves a chance to reconnect to the feeling that got
(16:12):
you into that relationship with that person to start, so
you can be much more present in all of your
interaction with them once you walk through those doors. Whether
you're the breadwinner or a dual breadwinner couple, or you know,
it's some variety of both of those now here.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
It's something interesting that when we talk about entrepreneurship, I
always see people having different visions to their pathway to
be an entrepreneur. How did you see this as an
opportunity for you or did something happen period of time
you start seeing patterns in relationships, How did you develop
this as a form of entrepreneurship for your career?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
So, to be really upfront with you, what I'd noticed.
I started working with a lot of companies at first,
and there were these high level executive teams that I
would work with, and what I started noticing is I
could teach the team how to be extreme high level performers,
but then the CEO or the entrepreneur would keep jumping
back in to try to fix things or change things
after the team was performing at a much higher level.
(17:10):
And after watching this for about ten years, I was like,
I can't teach the team. I've got to go after
this entrepreneur and figure out what is causing this entrepreneur
keep jumping back in even though the goal of the
entrepreneurs to get out of the organization and be able
to grow the organization without having to be involved in
the weeds all the time. And what I also realized
was these entrepreneurs they had some pattern in them that
(17:33):
was keeping them stuck in a certain level of their
own performance. So once I started digging in a little
bit deeper there, I started to see the patterns across
a variety of different entrepreneurs. And that's when I actually
realized with Sean that my ex husband and I we
had very similar trauma patterns that were causing us to
be stuck in our business. So when I was looking
(17:54):
at the patterns that we were in and I was
comparing those to all the other entrepreneurs that I'd worked with,
I started to see that there is almost always a
missing link or a blind spot in every single entrepreneur.
They literally cannot see what is stuck in their subconscious thought.
Because subconscious thought runs at about eleven million data points
a second, our conscious thought is only forty data points,
(18:16):
there's a lot missed in between. I actually just did
a session with the Gentleman last week, and he has
been caught in his business making a set amount of
money for years and he can't he couldn't get over
that barrier of getting to the next level. And I
sat down with him. I looked at the patterns between
his home life and his business life, and we were
able to identify that he wasn't stepping into more of
(18:37):
a masculine role in his home life, and he wasn't
stepping into the masculine role in his business. So once
we identified some ways to get him out of that
more i would say neutral or feminine role in his
home life or in his business, everything started to change.
He just texted me, He's like, I've already put it
into place the things you shared with me, and we
just grew this month by an extra ten k. So
(18:58):
it may not seem like a lot, but ten k
is a great change from one small change in your brain.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Wow, Now it's all about leadership. You know, we talk
about leadership a lot on this show. The word vision
areas used a lot in public and positive you know,
follow your passions and things like that. What are the
top three leadership gaps for both entrepreneurs.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
That's an awesome question. I've found from the past fifteen
years of working with companies probably ranging from about a
million to one point two billion, that the top three
leadership gaps are. Number one, there's a delegation gap. Most
people are not very good at delegating. They're not good
at holding responsibility and passing it to other people. So
you have a lot of balls that are dropped unnecessarily
(19:41):
so in business. So delegation is the first one. The
second one is giving and receiving feedback. That is connecting
because almost always when we're giving feedback it's because quote
unquote we've done something wrong. Most of us get defensive,
we lose productivity because we start second guessing our skill set.
So we have to learn to give and receive feedback
in a way that's much more connecting to allow us
(20:04):
to keep our productivity very high. So the second one
is that feedback gap, and then the third one is
typically a planning gap. And most people think that they're
very good at planning, but what most companies and individuals
tend to do is they tend to plan for the
perfect plan. Not many people work on contingency planning, and
(20:24):
most people don't talk to their teams about how they
contingency plan, and so you end up everybody goes after
this perfect plan that everybody thinks is going to happen
to be great, but we haven't planned for all the
fires that are going to happen, all the issues that
are going to come up, and we haven't planned how
to solve those before we launch a plan that contingency planning.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Right, those are the three things, and I thank you
for sharing it with my audience. Fulfillment that's something that
drives me in that drives a lot of pentrebneus because
you because you if your goal or in a person,
then fulfillment is the goal, the complete but it's also
a consistency. But it also creates trauma because if you
(21:05):
don't see yourself achieving that level of fulfillment, then it
keeps not only where drama comes in, but also trauma
comes in there. Can you discuss that with my audience?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Yes. So one of the things that I realized from
working with all these entrepreneurs is that most of us
never really feel fulfilled and we don't feel a high
level of fulfillment because we're constantly going from one goal
or objective to the next, and when we get to
that goal or objective, we have a blip, like a
small moment of congratulating ourselves, and then we're on to
(21:37):
the next thing. So with most entrepreneurs that I worked with,
we had to redefine how we look at success because
what most people don't know and understand sometimes is that
and it's not our fault, right, we're conditioned to not
know that success is a feeling. So if success is
a feeling, and we redefine it to be, for example,
a sustainable feeling that we can experience every day that
(21:59):
can news over time, then success becomes something that we
can feel much more often. If we tie it to
a goal or to an objective, then we're constantly striving
trying to get to that feeling of getting to that
objective instead of creating a life for ourselves where we
feel good every day because we've redefined what success means
to us. So I spent a lot of time with
(22:20):
entrepreneurs looking at, well, what is your ideal day? And
how do we create that for you? And from that
ideal day and that feeling that you get from it,
how do we bring that into more of your business experience?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
And you know, I want to share something with my
audience as well as you, Like I get up at
four thirty, and sometimes I fell into a bad habit
of working before I got to work, And so when
I got to work, I found myself just sitting in
my office going what do I do? Because I've already
completed so much work? So and so now I've learned, Okay,
(22:52):
we're shull, relax, stretch. Do use that moment of getting
up early. You can do some work, but don't turn
it into work. And when you get to work, then
it allows a comfortable transition for you and your employees
to be able to relate because you can come sometimes
start your job too far ahead of your employees and
(23:13):
so they just stand at you going okay, what coffee
did he drink? All right, can he slow down from me?
Can you help me out? And so my last question
is as we wrap up this interview, is that how
can as a leader, as an entrepreneur, the relationship between
your employees and you, how can you make that better?
And I may have shared something on my end that
(23:34):
I'm trying to do better that that means not come
in the room so fired up that you you fatigue,
got you your staff, or intimidate them. What are your suggestions?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
So I have a couple of suggestions. I think the
first thing, well, the first one, honestly, is that we've
got to as entrepreneurs, we have to embody this like
this way of going about our lives where we actually
we feel better and we show our team that we're
not grinding twenty four to seven. So one of the
(24:06):
first things I tell entrepreneurs is if you want to
connect more deeply with your team, you have to show
them that you're taking time for yourself and making sure
that you're in the right mental space. So for me,
when I frontload my day, I don't get up at
four thirty in the morning because I'm going to do
a lot of extra work. I get up at four
thirty in the morning to make sure that I can
do all the things that matter to me, Like I
make sure I have an amazing breakfast, I get a
(24:27):
great workout in, I have some time with my Bible,
I talk to a couple of my amazing friends or
partners in this leadership work that I do. I make
sure I have a lot of connection early on in
the morning because that allows me to show up filled
up before I ever interact with my employees. I'm filled up,
I'm calm, I'm connected, and people feel that energy when
(24:47):
you walk in the door, and then they feel like, wow,
I want to be like that. I want to have
that same feeling, and then they start taking better care
of themselves as well, because again, if we want the
whole team to win, we all have to sort of
take ourselves to that next level of performance, which might
not me working really early in the morning. It might
be taking care of ourselves in front, loading our day
with some wins that when we walk into the office,
(25:07):
we've got the best energy we can have to attract
the most business and to attract the highest level of
performance from our team.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
As usually, You're amazing, Annie, Can you tell people with
my audience, how we can reach out and you know contact.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
You of course, well you can find me on Instagram,
Northstar dot Annie, or you can also always email me
Annie A N N I E at north Star Leadership
School dot com.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Thank you my friend, and we will talk soon, because
I would tell you, just like free therapy for we shine,
it makes me a better person, makes me a better person,
but also hopefully amazing to go makes hopefully I'm sure
it makes a lot of my audience members. And because
again the fact that men needs men need to start
acknowledging not flaws, just just energies that are not comfortable.
(25:55):
When you go home and say I'm honey, I'm home
and know you're not, you just walk through the door.
You should walk through the door understanding that you need
to calm down and there's a person who's going to
start talking to you, and you should show appreciation that
they care enough to want to talk to you.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Is very true.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
All I want to do is I appreciate Jan we
talked to my friend. Thank you for coming on Money
Making Conversations Masterclass. Talk to him. This has been another
edition of Money Making Conversation Masterclass posted by me Rashaun McDonald.
Thank you to our guests on the show today, and
thank you our listening to audience now. If you want
to listen to any episode I want to be a
guest on the show, visit Moneymaking Conversations dot com. Our
(26:38):
social media handle is money Making Conversations. Join us next
week and remember to always leave with your gifts. Keep winning.
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